into Næht and Dæg, Gods who’d blessed the House of Belmis and given them the right to rule. As a bitter kind of joke, Aurelia’s daughter, who was our leader by then, formally named it the Sisters of Næht. She could never speak out to say that the House of Belmis was lying without giving herself and us away, but she couldn’t let them have it all.”
“Why, though?” I ask. “Why were you so against working with the House of Belmis?”
“We wouldn’t have been against working with them. But we are against working for them. Parts of alchemy are dark. The Tregellian royal family, and then the Council, have always been understanding of this. The Lormerian royal family wouldn’t be. They’d want the gold. And if they knew about it, the Elixir.” He looks away, staring into the distance.
“Who makes the Elixir? Is it the girl? She’s an alchemist, a philtresmith? Is that why she’s so precious?”
Silas looks at me. “Do you really expect me to tell you? You’re blackmailing me, Errin. I’m going to take you and your mother into the Conclave, and have to explain how and why to my people. To my mother. I’m going to have to confess to breaking my vows to help you. I’m going to have to tell my people why I put them at risk, for you. I’m in a world of trouble on your account already. You’ve had enough from me. Be satisfied.”
I’ve never felt so low. “Silas … I don’t have a choice. Mama—”
“Spare me,” Silas cuts across me. “I don’t need the details.”
Tears sting my eyes and I look down at the floor, the pain in my chest growing, weighing me down. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He leans back against the side of the hut. “If I’m honest, I’d probably do the same in your shoes.” Then he snorts. “I did, actually, if you remember. When we first met.”
I look up at him but his eyes are closed, and I feel a spark of hope that he might forgive me, or at least understand why I’m doing this.
“I suppose the wheel has come full circle.” He opens his eyes. “Getting the Elixir will be hard, I have to warn you. The supply that currently exists is all there is, for now. The vial I gave you was my personal one.”
I raise my brows at him.
“We all have one, in case we’re injured. It heals physical wounds quickly.” He pauses. “I couldn’t find Ely’s. I checked his pockets before I brought him to you. He must have lost it.”
“And you’d already given yours to me.” A new wave of guilt floods me. If he hadn’t tried to help me, he might have saved Ely with it. I remember then, coming back from the woods and finding him at the table, near the vial, his eyes wild. “It was right there,” I say. “On the table. One drop left.”
He falls quiet. “I know. I won’t pretend I didn’t consider it.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He looks me straight in the eye and says in a voice like iron. “Because you needed it. It’s not in my nature to betray my friends.”
My skin burns crimson, and I know then that things aren’t right with us, and might not be, ever again. I tear my eyes from his. “Thank you,” I say softly.
After a moment, he continues, his tone a little kinder. “Recently we’ve started to carry a vial of deadly poison, in case we’re captured. So thank you.”
“Me?” I glance down at my hands. “Surely you could make your own poisons?”
“The Elixir isn’t like your apothecary creations. The basic principle of mixing ingredients is the same, but the technique differs, and of course with the Elixir we don’t have much need for apothecary. We used to have those arts, but for various reasons they were abandoned. We don’t experiment any more. Besides, alchemists aren’t too fond of poison. Or at least we weren’t.”
“Well, I’m glad I’ve been of some use.” I twist my cloak in my hands.
He moves quickly, kneeling before me. “You could be of more use. Tell me where she is. I’ll still help you, I swear it. Please, Errin. Don’t make our friendship into this.”
His words burn. But though it makes me feel sick to do it, I shake my head. “Silas, I told you, I’ll tell you when you bring my mother to the Conclave and have them take care of her. I’ll take you to her myself.”