“So long as the dishes are in there, does it really matter? You’d get that time back?”
“You sound just like him. Why do I have to change the way I do things? Why can’t he learn to do things the way I want them done?”
“Have you shown him how you want it done without it sounding like a lecture or that you’re criticizing him?”
“Great. Now I’m a bitch for wanting things done right.”
Mason held up his hand and shook his head. “No. That’s not what I’m saying at all.” He tried another way to make her understand. “I find that with most of my clients the one thing they neglect to do is express what they want when things are good. Instead, they let resentments and anger build up and then demand the other person do what they want. They fall into patterns and never take the time to break them by having a civil conversation.”
“You want me to go to Rex and explain to him how to fill the dishwasher.”
He held his hands out wide. “Why not? If you told him that if he took over that chore in the evening it would free you up to spend time with him, don’t you think he’d be open to doing it for you? He knows you. He understands you like things done a certain way. I think if you told him it’s important that he does it your way so you aren’t anxious or worried about how it’s done, you could relax and enjoy your time with him without feeling like you had to do everything yourself.”
Her mouth scrunched with uncertainty tinged with anger, but he had her attention.
“I bet Rex could even pack the kids’ lunches or do some of the other things, like get their gear together for the next day, if you showed him how you want it done.”
She didn’t say anything, but he could see the wheels turning.
“If what he wants is more time with you, then put some of the things from your plate on his. Consider trimming some of the things on your to-do list that maybe aren’t so important to you or the kids. This is your life, Amy. If you aren’t happy and fulfilled doing the things you’re doing, let them go. Life is too short to be saying yes to everything only to be miserable doing them.” He took the seat next to hers and put his hand on her knee. “You are an amazing mom. Your kids are fantastic. I see how much you love them. I know a little bit about how much work kids can be from having Danny and Oliver here. After just a few hours, I’m exhausted sometimes. But I love being with them, just like I know you love being with P.J. and Emma. You want them to have everything possible. Which is why I know you don’t want to divorce Rex and take his kids away from him. You know your kids love and need their father. You love and need Rex. He wants things to change. So change by making him change with you. Talk to him. Teach him how to help you. Show him how to make you happy and less anxious.”
“You mean less of a bitch.”
“I doubt very much that’s how he feels. I bet he wants to make things better for you but he doesn’t know how. He’s trying to tell you that, but doesn’t know how to do that, either. You’re wanting something from him but not telling him what that is and how you want it done.
“You guys are great together when you work together. Things have gotten complicated and busy and it maybe feels like things have taken over your life together and you’re not really living it.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. “Yeah. It feels like that. I try to make time for myself, for him, and it all gets away from me.”
“You want to be everything to everyone. I’ve known a lot of women like you, who find it hard to say no. They take on everything. They are smart, capable, strong women just like you. And I have seen them find a new kind of happiness in taking back their lives.”
“You mean after they divorce their husbands.”
“Most of the time, yes. But what if you could find that happiness without losing the love of your life?”
They both caught sight of Sierra in the doorway. “He’s right, you know. You both want to be together. That’s