“Later. Right now, I’m going out. You need to take care of the kids today when they get back. I need a day.” She sucked in a breath. “I’m taking a day.”
Rex nodded. “Great. Fine. Take a day. But we still need to talk about what is going on between us.”
Like she didn’t know she was putting off their conversation. She hoped to find some calm and perspective at the end of a much-needed massage. This wasn’t going away. They needed to work things out. But she needed a minute to get her head on straight.
One horrible thought made it difficult to do that, so she blurted out her worst fear. “Are you having an affair?”
All the air went out of him. His gaze stayed on the floor for a good ten seconds before he looked up at her again. “Is that what you think of me? You think that’s the kind of man I am?”
She held her hands up and let them fall to her sides. The knot in her gut tightened. “I don’t know what to think anymore. You spend more time at work than you do here.”
“Amy, we’ve been through this. Why should I be here in this house alone when you’re constantly out doing something with the kids?”
“Maybe if you were here, we’d stay here, too.”
Rex shook his head. “Do you hear yourself? You put this on me. I’m not the one out there trying to impress everyone with how much I do with the kids, how great they are, or how organized I am and able to manage so much on my plate like it’s easy.”
“It’s not easy!” She vibrated with frustration.
“I know. But your quest for perfection . . . It’s changed you. You used to be fun.” He stood and unbuttoned his wrinkled shirt. “When’s the last time you had fun doing anything?”
She watched his fingers work the tiny buttons through the holes. Lust for her husband warred with her rising anger. She hadn’t felt this way in a long time, but arguing with him, watching him fight for what he wanted and for them turned her on. It gave her hope, even in the midst of feeling like he was putting this all on her. “You get to be the fun parent. I’m the one who disciplines and has to do all the real work.”
The shirt hung wide open, exposing his gorgeous chiseled chest. “Is that so? I guess my bringing home the paycheck and keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table isn’t real work at all. It’s just me being selfish and spending time away from you.”
She sighed. “That’s not what I mean.”
They’d agreed when they decided to have children that she’d quit her job and be a full-time mom. They’d wanted their children to come home to a parent after school and not be stuck at some day care for hours. Financially, it made sense, because day care would have eaten up most of her salary anyway.
Amy didn’t mind giving up the job. She just never expected taking care of the kids and the house would take up every waking moment and not leave her any room for herself.
She expected Rex to feel pressure as the sole breadwinner, but she never expected him to feel burdened by it, or that he’d think she didn’t appreciate how hard he worked for them.
Rex threw up his hands and let them drop back to his sides. “You resent me for going to work. Then you resent me for not spending enough time with the kids and not paying attention to you. Well, I resent that you use my job as an excuse to make me feel guilty for not being here. I resent that you make your life and the kids so busy you don’t have time for me. I resent that you think you and the kids have to be doing something for everyone to see instead of just hanging out together as a family. I resent that when I asked you to spend more time with me, to go out on a date, you volunteered to babysit your sister’s kids instead.”
Exasperated, she spit out the obvious. “She needed my help.”
“She wanted an evening alone with the guy she’s seeing. Great. Good for her. But if you had told her we had plans, she would have hired a babysitter or picked a different day. Better yet, you could have called the sitter to watch