think my mother knew. Some of the things she said … I think that’s why she started drinking.”
“He was acting crazy that night, Evie.” Zane held her tight, as much for him as for her. “I think he was so afraid of losing you he wasn’t thinking straight. He said he had to protect you from scum like me. My dad heard what was going on and came out of the trailer with a gun. Told your dad to leave me alone. I was so shocked my old man was standing up for me, I didn’t see your dad pull the trigger. But my dad did. He threw himself in front of me and took the bullet.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “Then everything was a blur. I ran at your dad, pounded on him ’till he was down. Then I ran back to check on my old man. Your dad came at us with the gun. His fucking eyes were wild. I reached for my dad’s weapon…”
“No, Zane.” Tears streaked Evie’s cheeks. “No, don’t tell me. I changed my mind.”
“I’m gonna tell you sweetheart ‘cause I don’t want to keep any more secrets from you. I should have told you before, but I didn’t want to hurt you. But now I know how strong you are. Stronger than me.”
Evie leaned up, brushed a kiss over her lips. “We’re strong together.”
Damn, what a woman. But she was wrong about being strong together. He’d never met anyone like Evie. She’d gone through hell and come out of it unscathed, made a life for herself and his son, and still saw joy in the world. “My old man grabbed his gun off me.” He spoke quickly now, desperate to get it done. “He told me once I killed someone there was no going back. He said he’d been no dad to me but he knew he wasn’t going to make it and he wanted to do one thing for me before he died. He wanted just one time to be a good dad. Then he pulled the trigger.”
A shudder ran through his body, ripping him apart. That was the night he’d been consumed by darkness. The night he lost the light.
They hugged each other. Held each other. Her hand on his back. His hand in her hair.
“A coupla neighbors came out of their trailers and started shouting that I killed the sheriff,” he said, once he could breathe again. “My prints were on the gun. My tracks were everywhere. I had your dad’s words in my head that I was nothing. I panicked. I figured they’d want to put someone in jail and since my old man was dead it was gonna be me. I was an easy target and once they had a scapegoat they wouldn’t look for the truth. I had no faith in the system. I didn’t think anyone would believe a trailer kid. So I ran. And the further I got, the more it made sense to leave you alone, let you have a good life. Then the darkness took over, Evie, and I was lost until Jagger found me.” He tilted her head back and met her gaze. “That’s the truth of it.”
“I believe you.”
He felt those words deep in his chest, filling a void in his soul, assuaging a fear that he had carried since the day he left Stanton. “I’m sorry about your dad, sweetheart.”
She straddled his lap, sliding her knees on either side of his hips, the curve of her sex pressed tight against his cock that was hardening again despite the bitter past he’d dragged into the light.
“Make it go away, Zane. For both of us. I don’t want to think. I just want to feel. I want you inside me. I want to drown in you until I don’t know anything else.”
Sweeter words he’d never heard, but it was what they meant that beat the last of the darkness away.
Forgiveness.
But could he forgive himself? Every mile he’d driven away that night had made it harder to contemplate going back. Each day had made him more certain it was best he stayed away until he was worthy and had something to offer other than just his love. Every time he looked at Ty, he was reminded of the mistake he’d made, everything he’d missed, and how he’d left his girl unprotected and she’d be taken by another man.
Never again.
He eased her down on the bed and stretched out beside her, propping his