The Sinners of Saint Amos - Logan Fox Page 0,207

my mouth. She cuts me off.

“If you did, you wouldn’t have left them when they needed you the most. They almost got killed, and that’s on you.”

I can’t take another stab in my chest, so I grab her wrist. But as gently as I can, only tightening my grip when she tries to tug her arm free.

“You almost got killed too,” I tell her. “Or did you forget?”

My brothers told me she had a bout of amnesia when she came out of the anesthesia. According to them, her memories all came back. But she’s acting like she has no fucking clue what almost happened back then.

If she had died…

Her pulse throbs under my thumb. Quick, strong. She’s angry, but she’s keeping it under control. I guess we’ve both learned some tricks the past few months.

Her eyes flick left, right. “We’re alone now,” she whispers fiercely, leaning in close enough to kiss. “You can drop the act.”

My heart slams into my rib cage. Before I can stop myself, I’m grinding her wrist bones together.

She winces, and then a spark of victory lights up her eyes. “They’ll believe anything you tell them, Zach, but you showed me your true colors. And I can’t unsee that.”

And then it hits me.

She’s talking about the knife. What I said when I told her to leave.

I drop my head, huff. “Fuck,” I murmur.

She huffs too. “Yeah, fuck.” Then she pulls her hand out of my grip and gets to her feet. “I won’t ever let you hurt them again. Not now, not ever. And if that means you’ll always hate me, then you’d better strap in, because it’s gonna be a bumpy fucking ride.”

Trinity moves to walk past me, but then I’m standing, my body a wall she can’t pass. She rears back, glaring up at me, mouth opening.

I don’t give her a chance to speak.

She makes an angry sound when I grab her wrist and force her hand against my heart, pushing her palm flush against the thick scar left behind by my surgery.

“You’re wrong about a lot of things,” I tell her.

“Am I?” she mutters, trying to pull her hand away.

“You were wrong to forgive Gabriel.”

She ducks her head, laughs bitterly. “Oh my God.”

“You were wrong to forgive your parents.”

Her head snaps back, her plump mouth distorting into a snarl. I don’t try and stop when she slaps my face with her free hand, but then I grab it too, press that against my chest.

“And you’re wrong not to forgive me.”

“You don’t get to decide who—”

“You want the truth? I told you to leave that morning because I couldn’t stand the sight of you anymore.”

She gapes at me, indignant, but far from incredulous. How she saw this coming, I don’t know. I guess I got my point across better than I thought the morning Gabriel snatched her from Saint Amos.

“You make me sick, Trinity.”

Hurt flashes in her eyes.

That tiny spark of pain reminds me of the beast I harbor inside my mind. The one that seeks out violence and chaos…and vulnerability.

That’s all it takes.

Just one spark.

And I’m done.

I can never hurt her again. Never bring her pain again. Not like this. I wasn’t going to carry on talking. I was going to leave her with those bitter words. But for the first time in my fucking life, I want to ease her pain. Even if it denies me the thing I’ve always craved so deeply.

But she has to understand.

I slam her hand into my chest. “Every time I looked at you, my heart would twist. Every time you came close, my skin would go cold.” I manipulate her hand, bringing it up to my cheek. Not the one she slapped—that one’s still stinging, but the other.

I press her knuckles to my flesh and will her to feel that chill.

“Every time we were together, the five of us, I felt like I was dying.”

Slow realization turns her bronze-dark eyes to bright amber.

“So yeah, I told you to leave. I shouldn’t have, it was selfish as fuck, but when I thought about how I felt around you…a sadist like me…I couldn’t even imagine how you made them feel.”

I glance past her, to where my brothers said they’d wait.

“So I made you leave. And I told myself I was doing the right thing.” I shake my head, let go of her hands. “That we’d be better off if you were gone.”

Her hands drop to her sides. The hurt is back in her eyes, but it’s different. It