apartment. The next door is standing open. I swear I can hear sounds coming from inside.
I’m going to take this chocolate—you see it?—and I’m going to hide it. You like chocolate don’t you, Mason? You must be hungry. If you find the chocolate, then you can eat it.
My heart hammers inside my rib cage like a fist trying to break down a door. I slink to the side, pressing my back to the wall.
There’s a clatter from inside Gabriel’s room.
Fuck. He’s here. I have to leave. Go wait by the stairs. Watch him. Send a message, let my brothers know—
Now close your eyes, Mason. Close your eyes so I can hide the chocolate. Good boy. Keep them closed. I’m hiding it now. Good boy. Keep them closed. Give me your hand. Yes, good boy. Now I want you to find it. Go on. Don’t be scared. Put your hand in, Mason. There. You feel that? Feels good, doesn’t it?
Nausea wells up so fast, so bitter, I taste bile in my mouth before I can swallow it down.
The world swims, and for a second I’m convinced I’m back there in that room. My first night with my Ghost. Playing hide and fucking seek with a sicko.
I cataloged them all. My Ghost, their Ghosts. They’re all saved neat and tidy inside my head. Their voices, what their aftershave smelled like, the size and shape of their dicks. Any rings, or freckles or scars on their hands. Those that showed their faces? They’ll be the easiest to find. But we’ll find them all.
Each and every last one of them.
Keep them for as long as it takes. Until we’re satisfied.
And then burn them at the motherfucking stake. A sacrificial offering to the God who abandoned us, left us to rot in that basement with those demons.
My phone trembles as I bring it out of my pocket. The memory retreats. Finally have my body under control again. Sticking to the plan.
But before I can back out, something slams closed inside Gabriel’s room. Thankfully, instinct takes over. I throw myself against the wall, crowding into a corner by the small key table. Holding my breath, closing my eyes.
He swarms right past me.
I catch a whiff of his aftershave as he disturbs the air, and like I always have, compare it to the database inside my head.
Unless he’s changed what he wears, he’s not one of them. Not one of the men who abused us.
Gabriel leaves his apartment in a rush, not bothering to close the door behind him. I wait for my arms and legs to stop quivering, and then slip out of the room and follow him down the hall.
I start to type out a message, but then I hesitate.
I almost lost control back there. Teetering on a knife’s edge. Me. Them. I’m good at bringing myself back from the void, but they aren’t. It’s their one weakness.
I’ll follow Gabriel, see where he’s going. If he looks to be leaving, then I’ll let them know. Then we can take him down.
I lick my lips as I wait for him to hurry down the first flight of stairs, then I follow him.
Silent.
Wary.
I’m always thinking of traps. Still not entirely convinced he doesn’t know exactly who we are. That’s my paranoia of course. Not as easily turned off as old memories.
You feel that, Mason? It feels nice, doesn’t it? Oh, you’re such a good boy.
Gabriel goes to the bell tower. And that makes no sense, but I follow him anyway. I follow him all the way up the stairs and then hang around out of sight behind the first twist in the stairwell.
What’s up there? A big fucking bell. Is this part of his provostial duties or something? Does he have to ring the bell to signal the end of term or some shit?
I still feel sick. My skin feels oily. I could use a shower to wash that debilitating memory off me. But I’ll watch Gabriel first.
My phone’s still on silent, so it vibrates furiously when someone calls.
Cass.
But I can’t take it now. I need to listen. I need to be a few steps ahead when Gabriel comes down again.
And then he does. But something’s different. His footsteps sound heavier than before. Little details like that don’t get past me. I was on full alert back in that basement…I don’t think I’ve ever gone back to normal.
I sneak down the steps as fast as I can, and it’s too easy to stay ahead of him, silent