who is your father conversation. The conversation that I’d feared and dreaded and run away from. The conversation that I’d put off time and time again, thinking I’d get to it when Katie was older or when she asked.
That time was now. Actually the time was probably years ago.
“I’m going to let you guys talk,” Matt said. His gaze brushed mine then clung as time froze to a halt.
I could love you.
I thought that. Or he did. It was in the air between us as real as Katie.
Matt cleared his throat and broke eye contact. Then he crouched in front of Katie, his gaze serious. “Wherever your dad is,” he said, “he’s missing out on a great girl.”
He stood, his fingers brushing my shoulder, sending flashes of heat and pulses of light through my entire body, as he left.
I took a second to pull in all the ragged edges and loose ends and compose myself.
Here we go.
“Your father,” I finally said, hugging my daughter close, “is a man named Eric Carlyse.”
MATT
The trees were planted, the saplings’ tender branches and bright new green leaves swayed in the late afternoon breeze. Without much growth the pattern of the maze was pretty clear, but in a few years when the trees were mature…I smiled. Well, then it would perfect. Nooks and crannies. Dead ends. Hidey-holes. The maze, though small, had it all.
I couldn’t even begin to imagine all the trouble a girl like Katie could get into with this in her backyard.
It would be something to see.
Lifting my arm, I scratched at the worst of the grit and dirt that clung to my neck and face. I needed a shower and a change of clothes, but as far as I knew, Katie and Savannah were still planted in my room.
Man, what a weird day. I didn’t like seeing those girls so hurt, wished I knew a better way to help than to step aside and build a maze.
Katie needed a father. And after last night - to be totally caveman about it—Savannah needed a man. And I wanted so bad to be both.
The door opened and shut and I turned to find Katie standing in the sparkly bright light that signaled the end of the day. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her cheeks flushed, but she wasn’t bristling with anger.
“Hi,” I said, cautiously.
“Hi.” She scratched at her knee, then her elbow. “I’m supposed to apologize for being mean to you.”
Ah.
“Understandable,” I said, “considering who you thought I was.”
“I’m sorry about the water balloons.”
“Forgiven,” I said with a quick nod. “You okay?”
Katie pursed her lips as if she were weighing her answer. “Sure.” But she sighed and plunked her hands on her hips. “My dad is a jerk. He has a bunch of other kids in Chicago.”
“Wow.”
“He never told Mom and she never told me because she didn’t want me to get hurt.”
“Makes sense, I guess,” I said.
I sat on the step and pulled off my gloves. Katie jumped from the landing with both feet and sat beside me. “It’s his loss, you know,” I said and Katie looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “I mean, I’m sure those other kids are fine, but they’re not you.”
Katie blinked down at her fingers, twisting them into knots as if playing some kind of game. Sadness dripped off her like bitter honey.
“I bet,” I said, “they don’t know card tricks. Or how to play poker. They probably can’t climb trees like you can. I’m sure they can’t hide as well as you can.”
She smiled, sadly, but didn’t look up.
“They don’t make your mom happy like you do,” I said.
“You make my mom happy,” she said. “Now, I mean—not before. Before you made her cry, but now you make her happy. I can tell.”
Only an idiot would misread the hope in that little girl’s face. And I was no idiot.
“I’m leaving on Sunday, when I’m done with the courtyard,” I said, softly, carefully, not wanting to cause this little girl any more pain. “I can’t stay here.”
“Where do you have to go?” Katie asked.
“Back to St. Louis,” I said, wondering why the words stuck and filled my mouth. Wondering why the future looked so damn bleak. “I have a lot of things I need to fix up there.”
Katie twisted her lips. “Well, when you’re done with that you should come back,” she said and jumped to her feet. As if it was that simple.
Man, you gotta love kids. They rebounded so fast. All