I counted the cherries in each bowl and I was stricken when mine had two more than hers. Found all the good things about her in some secret moment.
Up the little path press the bell and the chimes are ringing. No carefree children's foot prints out in the snow. Maybe they're not up. I hear a clatter, and a voice inside.
"It's daddy."
"O.K., it is. Open up the door and let me in."
"Hey daddy, you a snowman out there."
"Please open the door, it's rude to leave someone standing on a doorstep."
"What's the snow, hard or soft."
"Please open the door."
"Please "No."
If you don't live with kids they grow to hate you. If you five with them they hate you more. Not a shred of respect. Left standing on what technically is my own doorstep. Just one careless night, getting carried away, George pull me by the hair down on your knee. Then end up standing stiff with cold and they won't let you in.
"I'm asking you, quite civilly and calmly if it's you Roger, to open up this door."
"No. This isn't Roger."
"Whoever it is, open it."
"No."
"Why won't you open it."
"Because I don't like you."
"Who's speaking in there, is that you, Wilbur."
"Stop calling me boys' names."
"Clarissa."
"Smart. How did you guess."
"What's happened to your voice."
"None of your business."
"I'm asking you for the last time, Clarissa to open up this door. I'm frozen."
"It's not your house."
"It is my house."
"We live in it and that means we own it and that means I can keep this door shut and you out of here if I want. I guess you understand English don't you."
"Call your mother."
"You call her."
"Where have you learned to be so revolting."
"Out of a book."
"Sassy little bitch."
"And you're a revolting degraded human being."
Smith chose silence. Toes hardening to ice. Can't see through the steamed up glass. If this goes on any further I'm going to turn on my heel and walk straight back to the hotel, pack and if necessary hitch hike back to town. After a couple of miles ramble through the snow overstraining my heart I have to stand here and take this offense. Can see what open country, summer green fields and shady woods with crystal lakes do for kids. Makes them into savages. Ah, a sound of authority.
"Just a moment George, it's bolted with half a dozen locks. Now get, Clarissa."
"Thanks. I'm frozen."
"Come in, you're early. Just lost my slipper coming down the stairs. Forgive the chaos. Roger and Wilbur were building a jail on the stairs last night."
"For me I suppose."
"Don't be so sensitive."
''Naturally one wants to feel welcome."
"Well, all right, you're welcome, George. Give me the galoshes. Take a seat and I'll get you a drink. What would you like."
"I had a derobe on the train last night."
"Is that you being objectionable or a drink."
"Just a drink."
"I'll make you one. How do you make it"
"I don't know. I don't know anything."
"Don't bleed all over the furniture now."
"It's two miles walk here."
"I know."
"Well what do you mean don't bleed over die furniture. I've come in an absolutely friendly mood. Ha ha, he he. Just bubbling with good nature."
"So am I, ha ha."
"And get locked out on my own doorstep."
"O.K. George, I know you own the house."
"Just an ordinary decent reception is all I'm asking for. And I get abuse."
"Do you have to take a young child seriously."
"A revolting, degraded human being. No father wants to hear that."
"Well you heard it."
"That's what I'm saying."
"And George, I'm saying don't sit bleeding over it."
"Welcome. Come in George. Sit down George. Attempt a pleasantry."
"A gruesome pun."
"Even so, you ask me if I'm trying to be objectionable."
George leaning back. Stare out at the family unit. Her handfuls of brown hair. I have never asked my kids to treat me like God. Or for that matter even like some saint. O I've been guilty. Shouted when I should have shut up. Shut up when I should have shouted. I admit those things. Lashed out when the child was only trying to give me a friendly punch in the kidneys. Even got down on my knees with the toys and they tell me get away, you're ruining our game. I said O.K. kids I don't mind, youth wants to play together. Youth is exuberant. All I was trying to do was push one of the little trucks up the ramp and they push me away. Why should I mind. Haven't I been honest with you kids. What's the matter, don't you get enough to eat and