"Mr. Smith the resounding crash of those plates in my ears this morning brought it home to me as I was nearly jumping out of my skin in which I was standing at the time, that me and you Mr. Smith shouldn't fall out like that, just like the dishes it cracks you up. I just know it does. Loving words that are kind and true, loving deeds and blessings too."
"I see."
"My job's to you. Building up the years of faithful service. To go on my record. That's something to be proud of. When they lay me down with the roses all around, lilies, that crazy wisteria, on top, right on that coffin, Mr. Smith, so's everyone can see it. That testimonial of the faithful years of service. At those gates, dig that testimonial big God. Note the sacrifice. What's that look, Mr. Smith. You sick."
"I want a bottle of sparkling white wine."
"Just let me touch this little pig once, Mr. Smith/9
"Get back."
"Gee you're mean. I only want to touch it. Gosh."
"Gee you're mean.
"In due course."
"In due course my ass."
"Watch the language."
"Slave cooking over a hot stove. Sure, you want olives. You go buy a barrel I got to stand smelling all day. You don't think of that. Hot chocolate drink at night. You find someone to do that. Let me touch your pig. I'm not going to kill it. Here you just feel me. Here come on. That's another thing. You think I'm fat, just feel here, solid I'm telling you."
"Get some ice in this bucket."
"Feel me, Mr. Smith."
"Feel me, "Back."
"It'll astound you. This thigh, Mr. Smith."
"Matilda."
"Feel, Mr. Smith."
"Our behaviour may be watched."
"What's a feel, Mr. Smith. Before you catch that train."
"A feel at this moment is foolish."
"Press here, Mr. Smith."
"Stop getting close."
"Show you it's not fat, Mr. Smith. Feel."
"My my."
"Told you Mr. Smith. Aren't you surprised."
"No one would ever know, how solid you are."
"That Miss Tomson's a bag of bones. Not a nice mattress like me. She tried to knee me, Mr. Smith. Right there. And you see her claws."
Out the window across the street a happy family having ham and cabbage. A mother, father, eight little kiddies. One kiddie getting a wallop across the mouth disappearing from view. He must wonder, that father, what it's like to be free of those burdens. Well mister, in the first place, its marvelous and in the second, again marvelous. See, put lips to the rim of this hand blown glass. Let the white grape have its timorous say on one's chops. My God he's looking at me in a resentful fashion.
"Matilda, draw the drapes."
George sat chewing the cud over matters. Unhappy memories. The vague muscle in Miss Tomson's arm and the last bang she gave the door and the black mounds of her rear. Is it wrong my mouth waters. Chime of a church steeple tolls seven. How the sound can get through the roar of traffic. Tomorrow morning awake early for a walk in the sun over the snow.
Goodbye to Matilda. Smith on his way out of Merry Mansions. Crossing the lobby just catching that reassuring polished look of himself in the mirror, when confronted by a gentleman just taking off his hat and taking a hanky to to wipe cold steam from his spectacles.
"I may have introduced myself before, I'm Mr. Stone, and of course you're Mr. Smith."
"Hello, Mr. Stone and goodbye, I'm catching a train. Compliments of the season, of course."
"Mind if we tarry a moment."
"Afraid I do."
"In that case might I quickly advise you of certain facts."
"No time for facts."
"In that case, I may have to insist. A crack is progressing up through the Goldminer's apartment. They are most disturbed by the appearance of this gulch in their wall since it undermines their confidence in the structure of the building which as you know my management has taken great care to keep sound and durable. I'm sorry to have to say such a thing to you, Mr. Smith, but the management likes to also give the impression of high tone. We feel the tone was kind of lowered by the noisy chase made up through the building."
"Merely, Mr. Stone, a rather boisterous end to a youth rally. Surely not objected to by any reasonable tenant. A good deal of my time is spent with the underprivileged."
"Mr. Smith it is my sad duty to inform you that while two tenants of the next building lay innocent in their bed and so far as we can