store any day. If my jeans cost more than five bucks, they’d better come with a car.” Christoph looked around. “Christ, this is ritzy. It’s like one of those travel magazines.”
Ashi tugged on his collar, trying to get it to sit lower. “This thing is driving me crazy.”
“You heard the man. You’re a fabulous little flunky.”
“I want you to get cancer of the throat.”
“I’m finding it sad that we’re shopping for clothes so we can go shopping for clothes. In the clothes we just shopped for.”
Ashi reached over and jammed his thumb into a pressure point at the base of Christoph’s spine.
“Oh, you jerk,” he gasped, trying not to walk like an arthritic penguin.
Ken waited impatiently at the huge, glass entrance, tapping his foot and arching a sardonic brow at the pair. He ushered them in, immediately heading for the khakis and turtlenecks in search of something that would “showcase those asses and hide those tacky collars.” Mouse was heartily amused, and hung back to watch.
A couple of salespeople—a slim, statuesque blonde and a spends-too-much-time-at-the-gym beefcake—wandered over. Ken broke into a smile, his voice taking on a high-pitched, girlish squeal. “Oh my God, Jason, fab to see you!”
Jason blushed and returned Ken’s smile with a shy one of his own.
Mouse and the saleslady exchanged an amused look, then went off to peruse the button-downs, Mouse scribbling her a note explaining what they needed.
“Okay,” Jason said as Ken gestured with vague disapproval at Ashi and Christoph’s clothes. “Let’s get you two dolled up!”
Christoph raised his hand. “I like jeans. Jeans are great.”
Ashi looked around with obvious disapproval. “I only wear sweats or jogging pants. And hakama pants if we’re doing that sort of thing in the dojo.”
Christoph leaned toward Ken. “Hakama pants are actually a skirt.”
Ashi glared fiercely at Christoph. “It is not a skirt.”
Christoph nodded to Ken, mouthing, “It’s a skirt.”
Ashi rubbed his temples. “Why is it that I am the only one here who’s uncomfortable?”
“Where did you find these two?” Jason asked.
Ken was not amused. “Mr. Royce dug them up from somewhere. I’m playing dress-up until they grow some fashion sense of their own.”
Jason made complimentary sounds in the back of his throat as he made a bee-line to some racks and displays, gathering a steadily growing pile of clothes in his arms. Once a small mountain accumulated, he held them against one or the other of the boys. He and Ken exchanged sage nods or grumbles of distaste over clothes that, to Ashi and Christoph, mostly looked the same save for slight variations in color. Jason seemed to care not a whit that he was throwing several hundred dollars’ worth of clothing on the floor as he discarded the ones that did not pass inspection.
Eventually, Jason shoved a pile into Christoph’s arms and a pile into Ashi’s, then pointed the way to the dressing rooms.
“Let’s see ‘em before we buy ‘em, eh boys?” Ken said.
“Ooh, yes, I’d love to see you—” and Jason waved at Ashi “—in that salmon button-down.”
“Mm, me too,” Ken said, eyes alight.
In the dressing rooms, Christoph chose the topmost shirt and pants on the pile and put them on with all the eagerness of a cow being led to slaughter.
“Are we supposed to match up the shirts and pants or something?” Ashi asked from the next stall over, sounding dazed.
“I don’t care,” Christoph grumbled. “They can figure it out.”
Christoph looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like a yuppie. A salmon button-down flew over the stall wall and landed on his head.
“What the hell?”
“If you can do it discretely, destroy that.”
Christoph tossed it into the next stall over. “Uh-huh.”
Ashi stared at himself in the mirror and contemplated the severe lack of escape routes open to him given there were not one, but two vampires present, babysitting his every move. “God, it’s like my worst nightmares come true.”
Christoph hauled himself up and looked over the partition. “You look dreamy.”
Ashi swiped at his face, his fingers curled into claws, but Christoph jumped back too quickly. When it looked like Ashi was going to scramble over the partition and come after him, he quickly exited.
“Whoops, gotta show Ken!”
“Get back here!”
Jason was horrified at Ashi and Christoph’s antics, but Ken was nearly as amused as Mouse, laughing heartily at their angry banter.
“Sorry Ashi, honey, but Christoph’s right! That’s much better.” He paused. “…but, Christoph, babe, next time try the lavender shirt with the black cargos, not brown. ‘Kay?”
Mouse came over with a deep blue shirt for Christoph,