of understanding he is giving me.
My tears eventually dry but Ryan continues stroking my hair, my arms, my face. He kisses my temple, my cheek and the corner of my mouth, then squeezes me in a hug. I have never felt so cherished in my life.
"I'm sorry," I eventually mumble.
"What for?" he asks gently.
"For being a basket case."
He chuckles. "Well, I have heard a rumor that women are prone to fits of emotion at times."
I laugh into his chest and take in a deep breath. God he smells good. His cologne is subtle but spicy and it exudes masculinity.
I pull back and look at him. "I can't play for you because I don't have my violin anymore. I had to sell it to pay for some of the medical debt."
Ryan gives me a look of horror, understanding and sympathy, all rolled into one, and my tears threaten to build again. He pulls me back to his chest and hugs me. "I'm sorry, Danny. Can I do anything for you?"
I know what he is asking me. If he can get me a violin, but he won't come out and say it. I shake my head.
But then I pull back and put my hand to his cheek. "Actually, you can do something."
"What? I'll do anything."
I give him a wicked smile. "I want you to take me into my bedroom and make me forget about my music for tonight."
Ryan's inhales sharply and I swear his copper eyes turn amber. As I sit in his lap, I immediately feel the growing evidence of the affect my words have on him and it makes me feel incredibly powerful. He searches my eyes as to some clue of what I really want but I don't offer a hint.
Ryan takes my face in his hands and pulls it close to his. "I'm not making love to you tonight, Danny. But if you let me, I promise I will take your mind off your music for a while."
I give a little sigh and nod my head.
"Please," I whisper.
Ryan shoots off the couch with me in his arms and walks down the hallway. I point to my door and he pushes it open with his foot. I have a bedside lamp on with a red scarf thrown over the top and it provides incredible romantic lighting. That certainly wasn't my intent when I had originally put that scarf there months and months ago, but hey, that works out wonderfully.
Ryan puts one knee on the bed and lays me upon the top. I scoot over to make room for him and he follows me.
We both lie down and face each other, and for just awhile, we lay there and look at each other.
Finally he brings his hand to my face and then curls his fingers around the back of my neck. "You are so beautiful, Danny."
"I could say the same about you."
He gives me a hint of a smile but then his look turns molten. He leans in and kisses me gently. I follow his pace, soaking in the experience. I know I'm not losing my virginity tonight but I know I'm going to learn something new and I am tingling with anticipation.
Before long, our kisses turn more urgent. I feel like I am spinning out of control and Ryan masters my mouth. He commands it and it obeys him. My tongue and his move together and then apart. Needing to be together, then needing to roam.
Ryan's hand grabs a hold of my waist and he pulls me closer to him, his fingers digging deliciously into my tender skin. He brings my pelvis flush with his and he groans when we make contact.
Sliding his hand up the back of my shirt, he gently caresses my back while moving his lips to my neck. He's driving me crazy and every point of contact is burning where he touches and then freezing when it leaves. I'm in sensory overload and when his hand moves around to my front and gently cups my breast, I'm almost embarrassed over the guttural moan that escapes my lips.
"Sssshhhhh," he soothes me, yet his hand fondles me with more urgency and I want him to slip it beneath the barrier of my bra.
All of a sudden, Ryan pulls back and I am bereft. I reach toward him and he takes one of my hands and kisses my fingers.
"I'm not going to make love to you, Danny." I'm not sure if he says this to convince himself or