Show Time (Juniper Ridge Romantic Comedies #1) - Tawna Fenske Page 0,11
spotted one of our resident diamondback rattlers, which I’m not fond of either. My shaky balance makes the snap decision easier, and I topple us both into the backseat.
I fall hard on my back, arms wrapped snug around Vanessa. She keeps flailing, but gravity’s no match for her panic. She lands on top of me, collapsing in a sprawl across my chest.
“Ooof.” I grunt as her full weight hits me, and I slide my hands to her hips to catch some of her weight.
She blinks down at me, mouth open in a wide O.
Oh, shit.
Chapter 4
CONFESSIONAL 102
Vincent, Vanessa (CFO candidate: Juniper Ridge)
Most embarrassing moment? Ugh. I really have to say this on camera? No, it’s not that. It’s just—where to start? The time I texted my sister asking which brand of tampons she needed me to grab, but I messaged my boss instead. Or the time I mispronounced “organic” as “orgasmic” in a presentation on sustainable farming. Or how about when I offered my seat to a pregnant woman on the subway, only it turned out she wasn’t really pregnant. Or the time I—what? Yeah, I could do this all day.
There’s this moment as I lie spread-eagled on Dean Judson where I consider hurling myself onto the ground to let the rattlesnake have me. It’ll be a slow death, but no more humiliating than concluding my job interview by straddling the boss in my backseat.
Somehow, I manage to stop screaming. That might have something to do with Dean’s hands gripping my ass.
“Vanessa, stop. Ouch—shit, you’re crushing my nuts.”
Oh, God. I thought this couldn’t be worse.
Scrunching my eyes closed, I fight to get my breathing under control. I keep my eyelids shut tight as I address the man I’ve inadvertently mounted. “I saw a snake.”
“Yeah. I got that.”
“I’m, uh—petrified of snakes.”
“No kidding.” He shifts my weight on top of him, moving my hip off his junk. “In addition to the globophobia.”
I open my eyes expecting to see him glaring at me. Instead, there’s a look of utter bemusement in his eyes. And something else. Something like…heat?
But that can’t be right. I practically maimed the man just now. I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t have security escort me off the premises.
I look into those silvery eyes and want to kick myself. “I’m so sorry.”
I should definitely dismount. Just straighten up and peel myself off his chest, exiting the vehicle with my few remaining shreds of dignity. But something in his eyes leaves me frozen in place.
Also, there’s a snake out there. “It was really big.”
He shifts beneath me, gritting his teeth. “You don’t say.”
“Huge.” I’m not sure he believes me. “I’ve never seen one that big.”
“Vanessa.” He lets go of my ass, jaw still clenching. “I’m gonna need you to stop moving like that.”
“What?”
Shit, right, I’m crushing his—wait. Oh.
Yeah, that’s definitely not a snake I’m feeling. A very intimate part of my anatomy is pressed against a very intimate part of his, and the result is…um. Intimate.
“It’s a biological reaction,” I sputter, pushing off his chest. “I know it doesn’t mean anything.”
Kill me now. I’m lecturing him about his penis like he hasn’t spent three decades with it attached to his body.
Also, I’m still straddling him.
I try to untangle my legs from his but end up pressing my crotch more firmly against the impressive bulge in his pants. This is the most humiliating moment of my life, and I’m praying for someone to fill my whole car with snakes and light it on fire. That couldn’t be worse than this.
“Hold still.” Dean struggles to sit up, his hand settling in the small of my back. “Your ankle’s all wrapped up in the seatbelt. If you’ll just stop moving for a second—”
“I’m so sorry.” I let my body go slack as I close my eyes again, unable to look at him. “I totally understand if you don’t want to hire me after this.”
Dean doesn’t say anything, so I open my eyes again as he finishes untangling me. His jaw is clenched almost as tight as his arm around my waist.
“There are many things I want to do right now.” His voice has gone gravelly, and my ribs buzz with the vibration of it. “But since hiring you is chief among them, it’s the only one that’s gonna happen.”
It takes me a second to catch his drift. That’s probably because my heart’s hammering like a Clydesdale clomping across a kettle drum.