to remember to lock the bathroom door when I’m giving you a blowjob so we don’t have to pretend that I’m helping you find the sponge on the shower floor.”
He laughs loudly. “Thank God for frosted glass.”
“Amen,” I say, nodding. “Okay, where was I? I promise to throw all the fans’ gifts of sex toys away so Billy doesn’t use a cock ring as a bracelet and go to school in it like last month.”
He blanches. “That meeting with his class teacher is one of those evergreen moments I know I’ll always remember.”
I laugh. “I promise to keep stealing your clothes because it’s the only fucking time you buy new ones.”
“Not my trousers,” he says with a grin. “They don’t fit you.”
I smirk. “But what’s in your trousers fits me perfectly.” I drop the smile and become sober. “I promise to always look out for you and not let people take advantage of you. I promise to always remember that you’re the best friend I have in the world. The first person I turn to for everything because things just aren’t complete until I’ve shared them with you.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know why you think I have all the words, Jude, because you always, without fail, manage to level me with just a few of your own.”
He smiles almost shyly at me, and I launch myself at him, sending him flat on his back with a startled oof. I look down at his tanned face, his hair loose and tangled and his eyes bright with laughter. “I promise I’ll love you until the second I die,” I say fiercely, and his smile is replaced by a joyous grin.
He tangles his hands in my curls and pulls me down. “That’s the best promise yet,” he mutters and takes my mouth in a deep kiss. He’s just rolled me to my back and is lying between my spread legs, sliding his cock against mine, when there’s a sharp knock at the back door. Taken by surprise, I jerk and inadvertently headbutt him in the eye.
“Motherfucker,” he groans, resting his weight on one elbow and bringing his hand up to press into his eye. “Shit, that hurts.”
“I’m so sorry,” I hiss. “But your face was in the way.”
He pulls his hand away from his eye and stares at me quizzically. “My face was in the way of your head?” he echoes faintly, and I nod, ignoring the second knock at the door.
“Yes. Your eye socket has hurt my skull.” I lie back. “I’ve got quite a headache now.”
His lip quirks as he suppresses a smile but then we both still as a shadow moves across the window and I recollect with horror that the blinds are up. We both lie there helplessly as there’s a high-pitched shriek from outside and then the sound of hurried footsteps.
He lowers his head into the crook of my neck. “Tell me that wasn’t Mrs Fawcett-Smythe,” he groans.
“It was,” I say happily, hugging him. “I think that’s going to make the next neighbourhood watch meeting rather uncomfortable.”
A couple of hours later, I look at Asa anxiously in the taxi. His eye is swelling so much it’s almost half closed now.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I can’t believe I blacked your eye on our wedding day.”
“Well, at least I won’t ever forget the wedding.” He pauses. “But we won’t make a habit of it, okay?”
I pout and sit back. “Well, okay, if you’re just going to be boring.”
He chuckles and grabs my fingers which have started an agitated tapping.
“Sorry,” I say.
“At least you aren’t shaking your hands. It used to break my heart to see you doing that.”
“God, I remember that. I haven’t done that in a very long time.” I shrug. “I don’t know why, but I’m nervous.”
He smiles easily, always the calm to my storm. “I’m nervous too.”
“You don’t look it.”
“Actor.” He shrugs.
“Now you’re acting,” I say in mock anger. “Why don’t you try doing that while you’re at work?” I laugh out loud and jerk away from the long finger he drills into my ribs. He always gets me in this spot.
We settle back into our seats, me sitting close, and his large hand resting familiarly along my thigh. “Shit!” I suddenly jerk as a thought occurs to me.
“What?”
“What about witnesses? The legal system usually requires a couple of people to stand and watch. Who are ours?”
He sits back. “Relax. I’ve covered it.”
“How? Is anyone left after their forced departure from the country?”