I should have let the god have me. At least that would have seen him released from the Dionysion faster. Had he only known then what his fate was, he'd have embraced it. Then the god would have protected him from them ...
Maybe.
Sick to his soul, Styxx left the water and dressed so that he could put this behind him as quickly as possible.
If he could just get home, Estes and the others would leave. No one would ever know what had happened to him here. He could keep the secret. He was good at that.
I just have to get home.
Styxx didn't speak a single word the whole way back. While they rode, his gaze kept going to the guards who had been sent along to protect him. Guards his uncle had bribed ...
Not with coin, but with Styxx.
Even now, he could hear their mocking laughter. They thought what had been done to him was funny, and they had watched and participated with a glee that was nauseating.
Spoiled son of a king ... Here's for all the times I've had to lower my eyes to you and your father. Let the royal prick take a prick in the ass for all the pains I've had to suffer....
Next time I avert my gaze from you, Highness, know that it's banging your sweet ass I'll be thinking of.
Styxx didn't know if he'd ever be able to leave his room again, knowing they were in his father's service. How could he face anyone ever again?
And when his father met them at the palace steps with a wide smile, shame and humiliation slapped him even harder. How would his father look at him if he knew how he'd been used?
Styxx's gaze fell to the scar on his arm that his father had given him. And he knew the truth.
His father would hate and blame him for it.
"How did it go?" his father asked with a delight that sickened Styxx even more.
Estes laughed. "We rode mostly. I tell you, brother, there's nothing better than feeling your favorite royal stallion under you."
Bile rose in Styxx's throat.
"Styxx took his first buck and we made a man of him. It's been a great week, brother. One we'll all remember for the rest of our lives, is that not right, Styxx?"
Styxx cringed at the double entendres he now fully understood.
His father frowned at him. "Are you all right, boy?"
He wanted to tell him the truth, but one glance at Estes and he knew his uncle was right. His father thought the world of his brother and was suspicious of a son he wasn't really sure belonged to him. It was why he favored Ryssa so. With her birth, there was no doubt.
Styxx would never hold his father's full confidence or love.
"Prince Styxx was stuffed with too many rich figs this past week for his taste, I'm afraid."
Styxx winced at Nestor's bold reference to their rape that went right over his father's head. It was meant to shame him, and that arrow hit its target dead on.
Estes ruffled Styxx's hair. "Nestor's right. He partook too much of our potent nectar, brother, and is still sick from it. Forgive me for corrupting your heir and opening him to more manly activities than he was ready for. Still, the event has stretched him quite a bit and taught him things he won't soon forget."
Every single word cut him like jagged glass across his heart. All of them openly mocked his pain and degradation at their hands. Worse, they reveled in it.
Styxx ground his teeth to keep from showing any emotion whatsoever. Estes was testing him and he knew it. Throwing what they'd done in his face to see if he'd break and betray them while Estes was here with his friends to lie against Styxx should he say one single word about what they'd done.
That was why Estes had brought them along. Who would ever believe one mad boy against two princes, one of whom was a decorated war hero, and four noblemen? They would stand united to call him a liar so that Estes could have him returned to the temple. And from there ...
He felt his stomach cramp with utter misery.
His father pulled him into his arms and clapped him on the back. "My poor Styxx. The first hangover is the worst of all. But you have to learn to work past it. Or never get another." Kissing his forehead, he released him and went to greet his brother.