"For the record, this isn't a male/female thing. It's a people thing. You talk about men being cold... you should see women from my standpoint. We're talking Arctic tundra would be warmer. Believe me, you don't want to know my vantage point on your gender. As a man, if I grabbed your breasts, I'd be arrested. Any idea how many women have felt free to grab my crotch at will?"
"Dad!"
"Sorry, but it's true. Women are just as quick to use a man as a man is to use a woman. It's not right to judge an entire gender or group by the actions of a few assholes... Now what has Sin done to cause you to hate all the rest of malekind?"
"It's not just Sin," she said defensively. "Look at what Grandpa did to Grandma. What-" She caught herself before she let her next thought slip.
"I've done to your mother."
Damn, he'd guessed it. She bowed her head down, feeling sheepish and churlish. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Don't apologize. You thought it and I heard it loud and clear." Ooo, she'd forgotten about his ability to do that.
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not," he said with an understanding smile. "It's something you've thought about a lot. Don't forget, you get that ability to read people and their emotions from me."
She was really squirming now. No wonder poor Kish had taken her head off. "Am I this obnoxious with it?"
"Probably."
"No wonder people get so irritated with me."
"I'm sure they forgive you quickly enough." Not really, but she didn't want to argue with him. He leaned forward to pin her with an earnest look. "For the record, I haven't done anything to your mother."
"You seduced her."
"I kissed her, and believe me when I say my intent was never to make her crave me. I was actually hoping she'd kill me for it."
His confession startled her-it was so extremely different from the way Artemis had portrayed the event.
"What?"
He nodded and she could feel his sincerity. "There has never been a woman born I wanted to seduce, and that's the truth. I have spent my entire lifetime trying to get people to keep their hands off me. So before you blame me for seducing your mother and then scorning her, get the facts. I kissed her once, hoping for death, and then she came after me."
It was hard for Kat to wrap her mind around that, but then again, it made a lot of sense.
"As for my parents..." he continued, "they were totally screwed up from the beginning, but that has nothing to do with you or me. And it definitely has no bearing on your relationship with Sin unless you make it so. Don't. Your problems with Sin are simple. He's scared and you're pushing him to take a step he's not ready to take."
"You told me to go to him. I did."
"And did you apologize?"
"Yes."
"Then give him time, Katra. When you've spent a lifetime being betrayed by everyone around you, it's really hard to let that go. Sin is afraid of love."
She didn't understand that. "How can anyone be afraid of love?"
"How can they not?" His face was completely aghast. "When you love someone... truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt-you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it's crippling-like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough... but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?"
Kat swallowed against the lump in her throat as she heard the pain inside him. Her eyes tearing, she walked forward, into his arms, and hugged him.
Ash couldn't breathe as he felt his daughter's arms around him. Only Simi had ever held him like this. There were no demands or payment expected for the embrace. It was meant for comfort only.
And it meant everything to him.
"I love you, Dad, and I would never hurt you."