touched them.
He and Jack had passed out pink-label cigars for days. By the time Jesse was born, they didn’t bother with the cigars. Instead they filled the entire bed of Jack’s pickup truck with boxes of Krispy Kreme “It’s a Boy” doughnuts with blue filling. They’d even taken a picture of Jesse holding one of them. Well, not holding it, exactly. More like it dangling from his arm like a giant inner tube. He wondered if Jesse’s favorite color was still blue.
“Wow, you’ve been busy with this place. What a difference.” He glanced around the yard.
Pride perked at the edge of her smile. “Yeah, I paid my real estate agent’s son to mow down everything that wasn’t a tree so I could start from scratch. It made a huge difference.”
“I like what you did with all the planter boxes. Your herbs?”
“Of course.”
Hailey kept staring at him, and he wasn’t sure what to say after this afternoon. Amanda noticed it too.
“Hailey and Jesse, Paul was Daddy’s and my best friend. He was even there when you were each born.”
Hailey got up and walked to their end of the table. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Lightning Bug.” When Hailey giggled, all those peekaboos, goodbye waves, and memories of carrying her from the car to the house came crashing in on him. “I’m sorry I’ve been away.”
She reached out and touched his hand. “I’m glad you got to come back.”
Unlike Jack. Those unspoken words hung on his heart. “Yeah.”
“Don’t ever leave us again.” Hailey’s lips pulled into a tight line.
“Hailey, that’s not polite.” Amanda looked mortified.
“That’s fair,” he said. “I don’t want to leave again, Hailey. And, Jesse, do you know how big you were the last time I saw you?”
Jesse was a pint-size version of his best friend. Paul held his hand down at about the midpoint of his thigh. “Not much bigger than this high.”
“I was little.”
“You’re a big boy now.”
Jesse lifted his arms and made muscles. His body quivered as he struck the pose.
Paul reached over and squeezed his bicep. “Wow. You are strong.”
“From digging moats. I’m a really fast digger. It makes your arms burn.”
“I taught him everything he knows.” Hailey stepped in front of her brother to vie for Paul’s attention.
“I bet you two are a good team,” he said.
“The best. Come on, Jesse. Let’s finish the tea party.” She sat back down, and Amanda and Paul watched them in an awkwardly weird but wonderful quiet.
Amanda spoke softly. “I hate that Jesse doesn’t really remember Jack. I’m not sure how to keep all the memories alive without keeping the hurt around too. And Hailey…oh my gosh, if she doesn’t end up a psychologist, I’ll be shocked. That kid is so in tune with my moods. She can sense when I’m struggling. I hate that.” Pain danced in her eyes.
“Perhaps Jack’s working through them to make sure you’re okay,” Paul offered.
Her lips parted softly. “Hadn’t really thought of that.”
“You’re a wonderful mother. If anyone can lead them through this, it’s you. You know the way.”
“Yes. I sure do,” she said, pressing her hands together.
“I thought you might have gone back to Ohio. Your mom—”
She flipped a hand in the air to stop him. “That’s a sore subject. She’s been so determined to get me home that she’s been no help at all.”
“I’m sure she means well.”
“You know how she can be,” Amanda said.
It was true. Amanda and her mom had had their challenges over the years, but Paul knew after burying his parents that those matters didn’t seem worth fighting over when they were no longer around to love.
She held her head high. “Our life is here now. It’s a good place to be.”
His whole life was here, too, although explaining that meant telling her that he’d left the Marines. She’d only ever known him as a soldier. Jack had died for this country. He’d wanted to fight for Jack’s honor, but no matter what, he couldn’t bring him back.
He wanted to tell her—Maeve seemed to think he should too—but it was too much to lay on top of the already emotional day. Instead, he rested his forearms on the table and leaned in.
“I’m so glad I saw you today. Thank you for letting me back in.”
“I needed someone to blame, and your big shoulders were right there. You didn’t deserve it, but I guess even that served a purpose. It made me figure it out by myself, and I needed that.”
“My big shoulders are always