kitchen door or the garage. The main house was intimidating when coming in through the front, which was exactly his intent with most of his guests.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked when he brought her into the dining room where Lucy already had a light lunch set out along with a whole tray of wine glasses ready for the wine tasting.
“We’ll do the opening,” he said to George who was preparing the first bottle for the tasting.
George nodded and bowed himself out of the dining room, even closing the doors as he left. Rachel saw that they were now alone and her shaking increased. “Please don’t do this, Rais,” she begged, her fingers knotting the napkin on her lap.
“Don’t do what?” he asked as he poured a small amount from the first bottle of wine.
“Don’t do….this,” she said, waving her hand between the two of them.
He looked down at her and stilled for a long moment. “Help me understand why I shouldn’t try and make love to the woman I’ve wanted for so long I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want you in my bed.”
That was a startling declaration but she focused on his first request. “I’m not in your league, Rais. I don’t play by the same rules that you do. When I have sex, it will mean something.”
That declaration infuriated him for some reason. “So all of your old lovers meant so much to you that you’re still with them? Its’ just me that you don’t want in your bed, is that it?”
She sighed and bowed her head. “You keep referring to my old lovers, but that assumption isn’t accurate, Rais.”
“How many?” he demanded and placed her glass in front of her. “Taste this one. It’s an excellent red.”
She ignored the glass and stared at her fingers instead. “None,” she whispered. It was time to be honest with him. Maybe if he understood, he would stop his pursuit of her and let her just be content with the way her life was moving.
He didn’t move. Didn’t even breathe for a long moment. “Would you repeat that please?” he said softly, firmly.
She didn’t want to repeat it. She wanted to run out of the house and hide from him again. Being here, seeing him again as the memories of those hands on her breasts Saturday filtered into her mind, she had trouble focusing on anything other than that. And what might have happened if she’d stayed, if her fears hadn’t come up and overwhelmed her. He wasn’t leaving her any choice though. He stood there looking down at her, waiting.
Her chin lifted just so he didn’t think she was weak or embarrassed, which she was in this case but he didn’t have to know that. “I haven’t been with any other man.”
He sat down heavily in the chair next to her, downed the small amount of wine he’d poured in his glass, then poured himself another. “Explain please.”
She stood up and took her glass of water, draining the glass as she looked out the window. “Do you remember that afternoon a long time ago when I came home from school and saw Devlin and Dalia?” They were two of the horses that were still on the farm, still producing excellent offspring.
He remembered it vividly. And he remembered how horrified she’d been that afternoon crying out her fear for the mare who, in Rachel’s eight year old mind, was being brutally raped when in fact, the mare was just putting on a show for the stallion. “I remember. You weren’t supposed to see those things. Your father was pretty angry with himself that day.”
She smiled, remembering her father’s white face when he’d gotten home that evening. “He tried to talk to me about it, but I was still too shocked.” She’d also cried that afternoon in Rais’ arms, begging him to stop Devlin from hurting the poor mare. She’d buried her face on his shoulder, sobbing out the pain for the female horse.
“And?” he prompted.
“Well,” she took a deep breath, “I know, theoretically, that it isn’t as brutal with humans. But the truth is, I haven’t really wanted to find out. I’m too scared to test the activity. I’m pretty sure I won’t like having sex Rais. So I’ve pretty much avoided it.”
He was quiet, absorbing what she was telling him. When he finally spoke he was right behind her, his chest mere inches from her back. “Let me get this straight. You haven’t ever had sex