an accurate picture of how she felt—too big for her own skin and ready to take down anything in her path without a second thought. An indiscriminate pain and hurt and rage. So many possible targets, so many possible paths.
She called for a glass of water and tried to get herself together.
The storm was headed straight for Kendah.
But it had already reached her heart.
10
The moment Aisha was gone from the room, regret swallowed Nadim whole.
He went back out to the living area, his body heavy and aching, and sat down heavily on one of the sofa.
What had happened? How had that conversation gone so horribly wrong? He’d had no intention of fighting with her. That was something he’d been looking to avoid—hurt feelings and bad blood between them.
He’d hurt her.
He hated it.
Nadim stood up and paced in front of the window, the quiet in the room mocking him. It should have gone differently. They could have enjoyed each other one more time before he left for Raihan. And if not that, they could have parted on good terms. As friends, even. Now? He had no idea how they’d ever get to that place. They probably never would.
He’d known all along that getting involved with her the way he had was a mistake.
How could he have been so careless? Yes, she was incredible, and yes, he wanted her badly. That shouldn’t have influenced him so much. He’d been born to the royal family of Raihan, and he knew better than most people that what he wanted shouldn’t always come first. It couldn’t, if the kingdom was going to survive. And he knew, of course he knew, that he had been allowed the most personal freedom of either of his brothers. His parents had put their focus where it mattered the most—on the crown prince and the second in line to the throne. Nadim stopped pacing and looked out at the sky. The storm loomed, and anticipation crowded his throat. Why wouldn’t it just rain already?
He moved woodenly to the phone on a nearby table and dialed. An aide answered on the first ring. “Sheikh Nadim, what can I do for you?”
“I’m leaving in the morning.” The entire palace would know he was leaving. “I—I want to move up my departure. First thing. First light. Instead of after breakfast.”
“Of course.” Nadim could hear the scritch-scratch of the aide writing something down on paper. “A car will be waiting for you at the rescheduled time. I’ll let the pilot know. Was there anything else I could get for you?”
Nadim clutched the phone. Could the aide rewind time, perhaps? Could he find some neutral arbiter that would come down from another plane and tell Nadim what his calling in life should be, just to make things simpler? Could he put Nadim’s words from the fight with Aisha back into his mouth?
“No, that’s all. Thank you.”
The feeling he’d had earlier—of being at home and belonging—had gone. Now he felt like one of the coins in the water-bottle rattle he’d made for Karyme. Rattling around, making noise, but nothing else. Nadim wasn’t even making noise. He could play some music on his phone. It seemed wrong, somehow. He couldn’t think of a single song he wanted to associate with this moment forever.
He went back into the bedroom and finished packing. At least it was something to do. One of the staff could do it for him—all it would take was another phone call to the aide—but then he’d have nothing to do. More than once, he paused at the doorway and considered going to find Aisha.
No. What good could come from starting the fight with her again?
Nadim felt wired and exhausted at the same time. Should he stay up until his flight or try to sleep? In the end, it seemed better to close his eyes. At least he could drag out the process of getting changed for bed, brushing his teeth, and climbing under the covers.
He’d expected to lie awake for hours, but to his surprise he fell into a restless, dream-filled sleep—he couldn’t open his eyes. Didn’t want to. It felt good to keep them closed. But eventually a sound broke into his dreams, hauling him up from beneath the surface of those dreams. At first he thought it was a train, rumbling over the tracks, but as he came awake he heard it for what it was—rain, slashing against the palace windows and roof. And deep booms of thunder.
The storm had arrived.
The storm