She’d carried it in her pocket every day during her trip to Raihan. It had little notes of everything important she had planned in case she lost her phone. She flipped through it from the front to the back.
A tiny star in black ink stopped her on the page from six weeks ago.
Her last period.
Laila’s heart sped up, her breath coming fast, and she did the math. No matter how she lined up the numbers, the weeks didn’t add up. She’d missed a period. By a lot.
She turned away from the desk, pressing a hand to her forehead. If she were anywhere else, she’d just walk down to the nearest convenience store and buy a test. But she couldn’t do that now, could she? Not in a million years. Not in Raihan, and not when she was married to the crown prince.
Laila found Maha in the sitting area, writing something on a sheet inside the ever-present folio. “Maha,” she said. And then words failed.
“What is it?” Maha narrowed her eyes. “You’re staring. Is something wrong?”
She had to ask someone for help. There was no other way to confirm her pregnancy. “I—I think I might be pregnant.”
Maha gasped, leaping from the couch, her eyes wide. She rushed to Laila’s side. “Pregnant. Pregnant.” Maha took a breath that looked like it was meant to steady her, but she couldn’t keep a grin from her face. “Congratulations, Your Highness.”
Laila wanted to tell her no, no, this was no time for congratulations, but the truth was that she was excited, too. “I need a test. Or several. And I didn’t know who else to ask.”
“Stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Maha covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes shining. “I’ll be right back.”
Laila sat down heavily on the sofa, head spinning. Zayid had never put having a child on the table, and neither had she. The arrangement only covered a limited-time marriage. Surely Zayid wouldn’t think she’d done this on purpose so that she could trap him. Would he? He was the one who’d never used a condom. He wouldn’t be unreasonable. Perhaps he was a bit of a hard man, but they could co-parent. It wouldn’t be so bad. It wouldn’t.
Four pregnancy tests later—all of them positive—and she wasn’t so sure. She and Maha looked down at the neat row of tests.
“No doubt,” said Maha softly, then looked at Laila. “Are you going to go to the crown prince now?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll let his people know you’re coming. I won’t give a reason.”
“Thank you.”
Laila walked woodenly down the halls to Zayid’s office, face buzzing with anticipation and dread and everything between. She arrived at his door too soon. He looked up from his desk, and Laila’s heart felt like it might burst out of her chest. She shut the door.
“Zayid, I have some news,” she heard herself say. “I’m pregnant.”
He stared at her, motionless. After an eternity he blinked. Laila felt her insides crumple. She hadn’t expected a fist pump, but nothing? She almost wished he’d been angry. She wished for any emotion.
He leaned back in his chair, the leather creaking. “I’ll need to work on revising my succession plans,” he said finally, looking at Laila but not seeming to see her. “We’ll have to discuss which of our political allies would make the best godparents. And we’ll need to let my parents know before word gets out.”
The sting in her chest felt like a heart attack. He really didn’t care about anything but Raihan, did he? She was only a convenient distraction while they lived together. And now a political inconvenience. How are you feeling? She cast the thought at him. Ask how I’m feeling.
But Zayid didn’t.
It was worse, she realized with a pang, than her parents’ smothering worry. Their helicopter parenting had only spurred her need for adventure, and they’d never understood. But this...distance? This indifference? It hurt her a thousand times more. And it would never change. Zayid would always be this kind of man, and Laila would always be expected to keep out of sight and out of mind. She would only be allowed to emerge when he called her. And their child—he’d demand their child’s dutiful attendance upon command, too.
Laila cleared her throat, steel climbing up her backbone. “Yes, of course,” she said, struggling to keep her voice even. “You should know—I still intend to separate after your brother is married. A pregnancy doesn’t change that for me. This life—this life isn’t for me. I