it about me that worries you to the point where you need to ask your brother for advice instead of coming to me directly?” Kalon asked, closing the door behind him. I felt tiny, too small for this room, too insignificant for the entire universe as I accepted that all this could’ve been avoided had I just spoken to Kalon first.
Had I just confronted him that morning at the lake house.
Even so, I couldn’t let him claim the higher moral ground. I still had a point to make, and this was my last chance to make it. My only hope was that it wouldn’t ruin everything. That I wouldn’t end up with shards of my heart on the floor.
“You lied to me,” I said, standing tall and proud and angry. “I remember that night in the basement. I remember you killed the ginger Darkling. You know, the one I’d only injured severely. Zoltan was already gone by that time. And so was Trev. I remember!”
Kalon’s gaze darkened, a muscle twitching in his jaw. But he didn’t say anything, which was good, because I wasn’t done.
“I overheard you and Ansel talking. You know more about the Darklings than you told me. Than you told us. You lied, Kalon. There’s no denying it, is there?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know, Esme. We could’ve discussed this, but you sound like you’ve already made up your mind about me.”
“Then explain! Make me understand, because I’m at a loss here! I thought we had something,” I said.
He walked toward me, and I raised my hand to stop him. He stilled, taking a deep breath. “We do have something, Esme. Which is why I need you to listen to me, to trust me when I tell you that this is the absolute worst moment for us to have this conversation.”
That just pissed me off. My reasoning didn’t seem to function properly, as frustration had already built up to unbearable levels. “Seriously? That’s what you’re going with? Tell me the truth, Kalon!”
“What do you want me to tell you? That I killed that Darkling? Yes, I killed her. I lost my mind when I saw what they’d done to you! I was furious! Unable to control myself!” he said, struggling to keep himself together, shaking with rage. Still, he kept his distance, respecting my wishes. The more he spoke, the more confused I got.
“She could’ve given us intel on finding Zoltan!” I shot back.
“The rage blinded me, Esme. I went into that dark place, and it wasn’t easy to bounce back. All I could do was end her. It was as if someone else or something else had control over me,” he said, gripping the back of his neck in a bid to relieve some pressure. “I… I saw you down, and I… I lost it, Esme. Afterward, I didn’t have the courage to admit it. I justified my action by blaming it on the Darkling. She asked for it the moment she hurt you. I couldn’t take it out on Zoltan, but I could take it out on her.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why should I believe anything you say right now? You’ve lied to me before. Right? You just admitted as much.”
“I’ve been by your side since day one,” Kalon replied. “Please, Esme, believe me when I tell you that I am only looking out for you.”
“Did you know the Darklings want Valaine dead because they think she’s the source, the true source of the Black Fever?” I asked and watched his jaw drop. The reaction was so sudden and genuine, it… it couldn’t have been faked.
“What?”
“Tristan got this intel from one of the Darklings,” I said. My brother had passed that message via Telluris before our last conversation, though he had not given me any additional details. Still, it was enough information to rattle Kalon.
“I… No, I didn’t know,” Kalon replied.
“Yeah, you really do look like you didn’t know.” My shoulders dropped. “What the hell is going on here, Kalon? What haven’t you been telling me?”
He gave me a bitter smile. “Not as much as you probably think. But if I tell you, you might not believe me.”
“Then how are we going to settle this?” I asked. “How am I going to get the truth out of you if I can’t trust you?”
He reached out a hand. “There’s someone who might clarify things. But we have to be careful. It’s not safe here.”
“Who?”
“Will you just take my hand?”
“Tell me who!” I snapped, not