asleep.
I didn’t know how I felt about that.
Touching his hair tentatively, I fought the despair in my chest. He’d burned Estelle. No—I had burned Estelle. I’d known what he would do if I waited for him to wake in that alley. I’d known he would kill her.
That’s what I’d wanted.
I withdrew my hand, disgusted with myself. Disgusted with Reid. For just a moment, I’d forgotten why I was here. Who I was. Who he was.
A witch and a witch hunter bound in holy matrimony. There was only one way such a story could end—a stake and a match. I cursed myself for being so stupid—for allowing myself to get too close.
A hand touched my arm. I turned to find Reid staring at me. Stubble shadowed his jaw, and dark circles colored his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in a long time.
“You’re awake,” he breathed.
“Yes.”
He sighed in relief and closed his eyes, squeezing my hand. “Thank God.”
After a second of hesitation, I returned the pressure. “What happened?”
“You collapsed.” He swallowed hard and opened his eyes. They were pained. “Ansel went running for Mademoiselle Perrot. He didn’t know what to do. He said—he said you were screaming. He couldn’t get you to stop. Mademoiselle Perrot couldn’t calm you either.” He stroked my palm absently, staring at it without truly seeing it.
“When I arrived, you were . . . sick. Really sick. You screamed when they touched you. You only stopped when I—” He cleared his throat and looked away, throat bobbing. “Then you—you went still. We thought you might be dead. But you weren’t.”
I stared at his hand in mine. “No, I’m not.”
“I’ve been feeding you ice chips, and maids have been changing the bedsheets hourly to keep you comfortable.”
At his words, I noticed the dampness of my nightgown and sheets. My skin, too, felt sticky with sweat. I must’ve looked like hell. “How long was I out?”
“Three days.”
I groaned and sat up, rubbing my clammy face. “Shit.”
“Has this ever happened before?” He searched my face as I threw off the blankets and shivered from the cold night air.
“Of course not.” Though I tried to remain civil, the words came out sharp, and his expression hardened.
“Ansel thinks the burning did it. He said he told you not to watch.”
The burning. That’s all it was to Reid. His world hadn’t gone up in flames at that stake. He hadn’t betrayed his people. Anger rekindled in my belly. He probably didn’t even know Estelle’s name.
I headed to the washroom, refusing to meet his eyes. “I rarely do what I’m told.”
My anger burned hotter when Reid followed. “Why? Why watch when it upset you so?”
I turned the tap and watched the steaming water fill the tub. “Because we killed her. It was the least we could do to watch it happen. She deserved as much.”
“Ansel said you were crying.”
“I was.”
“It was a witch, Lou.”
“She,” I snarled, whirling on him. “She was a witch—and a person. Her name was Estelle, and we burned her.”
“Witches aren’t people,” he said impatiently. “That’s a child’s fantasy. They aren’t little fairy creatures who wear flowers and dance under the full moon, either. They’re demons. You’ve seen the infirmary. They’re malevolent. They’ll hurt you if given the chance.” He raked an agitated hand through his hair, glaring at me. “They deserve the stake.”
I clenched my hands on the tub to prevent myself from doing something I’d regret. I wanted—no, needed—to rage at him. I needed to wrap my hands around his throat and shake him—to make him see sense. I was half tempted to slit my arm open again, so he could see the blood that flowed there. The blood that was the same color as his own.
“What if I were a witch, Reid?” I asked softly. “Would the stake be what I deserve?”
I turned off the tap, and absolute silence filled the chamber. I could feel his eyes on my back . . . wary, assessing. “Yes,” he said carefully. “If you were a witch.”
The unspoken question hung in the air between us. I met his eyes over my shoulder, daring him to ask it. Praying he wouldn’t. Praying he would. Unsure of how I would answer if he did.
A long second passed as we stared at each other. Finally, when it became clear he wouldn’t ask—or perhaps couldn’t—I turned back to the water and whispered, “We both deserve the stake for what we did to her.”
He cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with the new direction of the conversation.