look of absolute devastation on his mother’s face had sent Kellan into a rage. He had flown across the room, fists flying as he attacked his father. Called the man every bad name he’d ever heard in his life. His father took it all—the foul words, the blows, the pure hatred. When Kellan thought back on that day, it occurred to him that his father hadn’t seemed to hear or feel a thing he had dished out. Instead, his father’s eyes remained locked on his mom’s face.
The lover left without a word. Kellan assumed Dad had given her the brush-off and broken it off immediately afterward. The fight between his parents had been held behind closed doors. Kellan heard none of it. All he knew was the next morning his parents sat him down at the kitchen table and said the entire affair had been a mistake. His mom had forgiven his dad. Dad had promised to never stray again, and they’d made an appointment with a marriage counselor.
They had offered to send him to a therapist as well, but Kellan had insisted he was fine. And he’d always believed that to be true. For the first time in his life, he started to question that answer. He was sitting in a restaurant, furious with a father he loved dearly, and ready to do bodily harm to a stranger simply because he was dancing with Sara.
“You love Mom.”
Dad nodded. “More than life itself. Always have.”
“And yet you couldn’t resist the urge to stick your dick in another woman.” They were harsh words. Kellan didn’t care.
“It was a terrible mistake. One I will regret until the day I die.”
For the first time in his life, Kellan wanted answers, wanted to know why the man he’d always looked up to, had always been compared to whenever he did something good, something of value, could do something so hurtful to the one person he’d sworn to be faithful to.
“Why?”
“We’re different people, Kellan. Every single day of our lives, we wake up slightly changed. It’s inevitable. We take the lessons, experiences, and events that happened the previous day, and we let them change the mold. It’s a slow process. Sort of like water eroding rock, but it happens. I let life blind me to what was important.”
As far as explanations went, that one was damn vague. “You found a hot blonde, and you fucked her, Dad. While I love the heavy philosophy thing you’ve got going on here, it feels like just words.”
Kellan hadn’t spoken to his father with such anger since that afternoon so many years earlier. His parents told him everything was okay between them, and any emotion he might have felt seemed to dissolve. He took his cues from his mother, who carried out the same damn daily routines as if her husband hadn’t just grabbed a knife and cut her heart out.
“I’m still letting life blind me,” his father said softly.
“What the fuck are you saying?” Kellan growled through clenched teeth. Was his dad still screwing around?
Dad raised his hands in surrender. “I’m not having an affair. I strayed that one time, and I’ll never do it again. I mean I’ve closed my eyes to what’s going on with you.”
Kellan couldn’t begin to understand that. “With me?”
“Your aversion to marriage. Hell, your disdain for anything that resembles a committed relationship. That’s because of me, isn’t it? Because of what I did.”
“No.” Kellan shook his head, rejecting the notion. Why was it so damn hard for people to accept that he simply didn’t want to tie himself down?
His dad lifted his chin, directing Kellan’s attention to Sara on the dance floor. “You crossed a line with Sara. One you didn’t mean to.”
Kellan rubbed his eyes wearily. “No. I haven’t.”
His father chuckled, the sound raising Kellan’s hackles. “Then why are you here?”
“It’s Mom’s birthday.”
“Sell that bullshit to someone who doesn’t know you.”
Kellan crossed his arms, hoping the action shielded his clenched fists. “I suppose you think I’m here because I have feelings for Sara. I can assure you, the only thing she’s stirred is my dick. You, of all people, should understand that.”
His dad winced as if he’d struck him.
The song was coming to an end. A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed his mom was wrapping up her conversation with her old friend. Soon, the table would be crowded again. Kellan couldn’t paste on a fake smile and pretend to enjoy himself.
Time to regroup. He’d go home, lick his wounds, and