should probably rewind to Monday night and not spend the night with him. They’d still be friends and she could send him a message to ask how he was doing. Or she could go back to the morning when she’d found him making pancakes in her kitchen. Her mind took her right back there, inhaling the wonderful aroma and staring at Nick’s back as he happily hummed along with the radio.
What if she’d snaked her arms around his waist, nestled her head on his shoulder and kissed his cheek? What if she’d sat and eaten breakfast with him, her leg resting gently against his under the table as he cracked terrible jokes? Tears spilled down her cheeks and she sniffed loudly.
Tapping quickly on her phone, she went into her messages. She had no idea what to say. After a deep breath, she typed that she was sorry for kicking him out on Monday. Then she deleted it and instead asked how his mum was. She deleted that one too.
Growling to herself, she got out of bed and strode across the landing to Leana’s old room. She hadn’t been back in there since her night with Nick. The covers hung half off the bed, exactly as it was when she’d got up on Monday morning. She lowered herself to sit on the edge of the bed and dropped her head to her hands. Nick’s red hoodie lay abandoned in the middle of the floor. It still smelled of him, and she held it to her face for a few minutes before pulling it on over her head.
As she stared at her phone, it occurred to her that it didn’t really matter what she wrote in a message – he’d only delete it anyway. Anything heartfelt or sympathetic wouldn’t sound sincere. Her fingers tapped slowly, typing out the message. Profits at the pub are dropping dangerously low. Will you be back to rectify this any time soon? She read it back before hitting send. It was pretty awful, but it was the sort of jokey thing he’d expect her to say.
Then she went back to her own bed and snuggled under the covers, keeping her phone in her hand even though she didn’t expect a reply. When it buzzed half an hour later, she was staring at the ceiling and almost jumped out of her skin. Her heart rate went crazy at the sight of Nick’s name on the screen. Her fingers trembled as she opened the message.
If you deliver to Fort William I could definitely do with a pint.
Lexie felt the biggest surge of relief. He didn’t hate her so much that he’d ignore her completely. Sitting bolt upright, her mind raced as to how to reply. The light-hearted banter was nice but it would be inappropriate to keep it up.
Sorry to hear about your mum, she typed. Hope you’re okay.
His reply came almost immediately. Surviving.
I’m sorry about Tuesday, she messaged back. And she really was sorry. If she could go back, she’d change it all. She still wasn’t sure quite how she’d change things, but hurting Nick had been cruel and she just wanted to fix it.
She stared at the phone for a while but he didn’t message her again. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. What was he supposed to say? That it was fine? It wasn’t fine, and a simple sorry in a message wasn’t going to make it all right.
Besides, Nick had bigger things to worry about than her.
Chapter Eighteen
Lexie couldn’t muster enthusiasm for anything on Saturday. Her mind lingered on Nick as she cleaned the cabins at the activity centre on autopilot. In the afternoon, she stayed in the background as much as possible while she supported the instructors with activities. The day seemed to drag on forever, and her legs felt heavy when she finally set off home.
Without much thought, she veered off the path and walked up to the road instead. When she neared Nick’s house, she was surprised to see the front door standing wide open and voices drifting out from the kitchen. Then she registered Logan’s van on the road and remembered he was going to put the new kitchen in. For a moment she considered going in. She was desperate for news about Nick and assumed Logan would have spoken to him.
In the end, she decided against it and continued home. After an hour of aimlessly wandering the house, unable to settle, she went over to the pub.
“Come to lend a