The Secret of You and Me - Melissa Lenhardt Page 0,57
after all.
I didn’t return to Lynchfield with the intention of making up with Sophie, let alone falling back in love with her. Now I knew it had been inevitable. There was no closure with our relationship, at least not for me. It was why it took me more than a decade to imagine a life with another person, even though Alima was as unattainable as Sophie. I knew, deep down, that Sophie would never leave Charlie, or Logan, or come out in this town. The chance to do that was in the summer of ’95 when we could have escaped cleanly. No, she was tied to Lynchfield now and had been denying who she was for too long. If she wanted a physical relationship with no strings, I would give it to her. Especially after the frantic fondling in her car. But, she had to make the move. She had the most to lose.
Regardless of what happened or didn’t happen with Sophie, I needed to deal with Ray’s house, so I could get back to DC. I missed work, missed the stress, the teamwork, the feeling of contributing something essential to our country, though no one would ever know about what I did. I missed going to yoga and sparring at the gym. I missed the stupid pillow I sat on when I meditated. Four days of intense focus on ridding my life of every last vestige of Raymond Noakes, then I could address the Sophie issue. And leave.
“I have good news and bad news,” I said, cutting to the chase.
“Oh. Okay,” Sophie said.
“Good news, the Dumpsters arrived. Bad news, I’ve set up an estate sale for Sunday afternoon.”
“This Sunday? What the hell, Nora?”
“I can’t stay here forever,” I said. “Work understands to a point.”
Sophie was silent. I could hear Nirvana playing in the background, and the hum of the car AC on full blast. I lifted my eyes to the sky and silently cursed myself. That came out wrong.
“Sophie, I...”
“So we’re going to pretend like the kiss never happened? Okay. Got it. I’ll text you Joe’s number, though I don’t know if he will be able to help on such short notice.”
I waited for a beat, barely resisting the temptation to tell her how I felt; that I thought about her incessantly, that each of our conversations were seared in my brain, that there were a million more things I wanted to tell her, to ask her, that I didn’t even care that she beat me at tennis because it was so much like our life when we were happy, and our future together was laid out in front of us like a long West Texas road that disappeared into infinity, that I didn’t realize how I missed her South Texas twang until I heard it again, that my need for her hummed through my body at all hours of the day, that I was still in love with her, that all of the men and women I’d been with had been a pale attempt to forget her, that I regretted them all.
That’s what I wanted to tell her. But, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t trust that when all was said and done, that she would choose me over her safe life in Lynchfield.
“Nora? Are you still there?”
“Ye-yeah,” I stuttered. I cleared my throat. “I wondered if Logan and her friends might want to make some extra money?” I said.
“I’m sure they will. I’ll call her. How much will you pay them?”
“Oh. A hundred bucks each.”
“A hundred dollars? Jesus. You’ll probably get the whole high school out there.”
“Then let’s limit it to five people.”
“Wise choice. Will tomorrow be soon enough?”
“Sure.” I heard Sophie’s blinker clicking off and on.
“Great. They’ll be there at nine. I’m driving so I better...” Sophie said.
“Wait. I have a question for you and I need an honest answer.”
“Okay.”
“You’re close with Emmadean. Is she sick?”
The pause was almost imperceptible. “Why do you ask?”
“Sophie,” I said.
“Emmadean’s getting old, and she’s never been exactly healthy.”
Indignation rose in my chest. “What are you saying?”
“Nora,” Sophie said. “You need to talk to Emmadean, not me.”
“You know what’s wrong.”
“Not what I said.”
“I can tell you’re lying even over the phone.”
“Oh, you can? Funny, I haven’t told one lie yet.”
“Yet! So, you’re going to.”
“Good Lord, stop it. Talk to your aunt.”
“Already tried. Emmadean’s evasive. Stubborn.”
“Sounds familiar.”
“Watch it, Sophie. I’m going to get it out of Dormer.”
Sophie laughed, and it felt like someone was skipping double Dutch in my chest. “Good luck