The Secret of You and Me - Melissa Lenhardt Page 0,108
they wonder? Charlie’s been cheating on you for years, and chances are everyone in town knows it. They think you’ve finally had enough. It’s the oldest story in the book.”
“Um, that sounds to me like you’re getting what you want, which is me away from Charlie. All I’ll get is a bunch of gossip and questions, which is what I don’t want. But, okay. Let’s say I do it. What will you be doing during this year? Running around with your married men and women in DC? Alima?”
“Jesus Christ with the Alima stuff.”
“Have you broken it off with her yet?”
Nora shook her head.
“Even after I told you we’d be together next year? I even gave you a fucking date!” I pushed her away and stood up, retrieving my dress. “How dare you accuse me of not being able to commit and mocking my jealousy. I’m outta here.” I jumped out of the truck bed and started walking to my car.
Nora jumped over the side of the truck and got in front of me. “Wait, wait. You’re right. About all of it. I’m being a shit, I’m being selfish and I’m not being fair to you.”
“Is this what our relationship is going to be like? Fighting all the time? Because I don’t like it one bit.”
“No, it’s not. I swear to God. I...” Nora cleared her throat and looked down. “I can be self-destructive when I don’t feel...in control. That’s why I... It’s a pattern I thought I had grip on it, but I guess I haven’t really.”
She looked so broken, so lost, I did what came naturally. I pulled her into a hug and asked, “What can I do to help you?”
Nora broke down and sobbed into my shoulder. She clung to me as if I was her life raft and that was enough to banish my shock at her uncharacteristic emotional breakdown, pull her closer and wait.
When she’d cried herself out, she pushed away. She wiped her cheeks roughly and laughed uneasily. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. “I...um...don’t usually do that in public.”
“Hey.” I cradled her head and made her look at me. Her eyes were red and watery, and tearstains were streaked across her cheeks. I kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her forehead, her temples. She rested her hands gently on my hips and she released a long sigh while I peppered her face with kisses. “I’m not just anybody, Nora,” I whispered. “There was a time when I knew you better than anyone in the world. We told each other everything. I want that again, desperately. I know it seems like all I want to do is fuck you—” Nora barked out a laugh, and I chuckled “—obviously, I do. But, I miss everything we had.” I put her hand on my heart. “The connection. The laughter. Being able to look at you in a group of people and know exactly what you’re thinking, and you being able to do it with me, too. Remember?”
Nora nodded.
“You were always the first person I thought of when I had a problem because I knew you would listen and not try to solve it for me but solve it with me. Let me be that for you. Now.”
She pressed her forehead against mine, sighed and closed her eyes. “Thousands of vets have this same story. I’m not unique.”
“That doesn’t make your problems any less important.”
She moved away and sat on the truck’s tailgate.
“I told you in the IED attack I was in, I lost friends. Good friends. I didn’t tell you I lost a lover, too. No one knows about Will, actually. Not even Alima. It hadn’t really gotten past hookups, but he was a great guy. Fun, loyal, very good-looking. I knew by then no one would ever stack up to you, but I was tired of being alone. I deserved to be happy, too. Like you and Charlie.”
“Oh, Nora.”
“If I only knew, right? Will’d started to drop hints about meeting parents and stuff. I knew I’d have to tell him about us. About being estranged from Ray. I was not looking forward to it, but I decided to take the leap. And he died. Just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “Along with my two closest friends. That just proved to me that opening myself up emotionally to people only led to disasters. So, when I recovered and was discharged, my life became about one-night stands and keeping friends at a distance.”