Secret Plunge - Jasmin Miller Page 0,9

my hands on my thighs before pushing off the couch in one swift move.

Soon that won’t be possible, when I’ll look like I’ve shoved a basketball under my clothes.

“Well, I guess I should go. But I wanted you to know. I needed you to know.”

Ryan nods and watches me as I grab my purse and walk to the door. I’m about to grab the door handle when he jumps up.

“Wait. Fuck. Give me a moment. I can’t think straight right now, but can we meet up again while you’re here?” He squeezes his eyes shut before focusing that pleading gaze on me. His hands are working overtime at his sides, opening and closing in quick succession.

The desire to be still, to relish this moment as relief washes over me is almost too much, especially since I didn’t expect it. Sure, I was nervous about telling him, afraid he’d yell at me before kicking me to the curb, or worse, accuse me of lying, but I didn’t realize how much I wanted his acceptance and support.

Not that we’re there yet since he needs some time to process the news, but for now, I’ll take what he offers. Happily.

“Of course. I’d like that.” I get my phone out of my purse and we exchange numbers. When he asks for my last name, my heart does a scared jump as I get ready for the next white lie to slip past my lips. “It’s Barnes.”

Even though my name is Harper Martin, I use my mom’s maiden name Barnes for my social media profiles. My mom insisted on that little safety net when I was younger, and I stuck with it over the years. It’s nice when not everyone can find you at the snap of a finger.

“Got it.” He puts his phone back in his pocket, and we’re back to staring at each other. “Will Sunday work for you?”

That’s two days away, and I’m sure it will feel like an eternity. But I dropped into his life, and I know how busy he is with his training. “Sunday sounds good. Text me when and where? Your schedule is busier than mine.”

Talk about admitting a lot in one sentence.

Ryan opens the door for me, and with an awkward wave and an almost-stumble, we say our goodbyes before I focus on setting one foot in front of the other as I make my way back to my stepmom’s car.

When I’m safely in my seat with the seat belt firmly in place, I finally succumb to the desire and look back to the house.

Ryan is still standing in the same spot I left him a minute ago, with one hand on the door and the other one on the doorframe. Like he needs the support to stay upright, and maybe he does.

I still feel like falling to the floor in a heap of self-pity and shock over this new situation. And why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t he? It’s one of the biggest changes that can happen to someone’s life.

Especially since it’s all happening at such an inconvenient time, but such seems life. I should know that after the last year I’ve had. Apparently, that was only the beginning of the havoc.

In retrospect, losing my job, having my friend move across the world, heck, even my divorce seems so small in comparison. Because my body is making an actual human being right now. A real person. Someone I’ll be responsible for. For a very long time.

All I can hope now is that whoever is pulling those strings is done and this is the grand finale of sorts.

I’m not sure how much more I can handle. A baby definitely seems like the ultimate hard limit at this point. On cue, my head starts throbbing, and I let out the most frustrated sigh I can muster without contorting my face for Ryan to see.

The last thing I need is for him to think that I’ve lost my marbles and have another meltdown in front of his house. I’m sure I convinced him with my earlier hysteria that a few have already gone missing.

My phone vibrates on the middle console with an incoming message.

Dad: Sharon and I wanted to check out that new diner on Fourth Street. Do you want to join us?

* * *

Harper: Yes, I’d love to. Meet you there.

* * *

Dad: Okay. We’ll be there in about twenty minutes.

* * *

Harper: Sounds good. See you soon.

I don’t know how things will go with Ryan, but I will