smell.’
‘Compared to normal?’
‘Exactly.’
Payne pressed the issue. ‘In other words, you usually like the way I smell.’
‘What?’
‘You think I’m a good-looking, good-smelling guy.’
‘Stop it! Quit putting words in my mouth.’
‘Dude, I’m not putting anything in your mouth.’
Jones blushed, worried some of the other guests might have overheard the comment. At first he was going to speak up and defend himself, then he thought better of it. No matter what he said, it was going to be taken out of context and used against him. So he stood silently waiting for Payne to let him off the ropes. But Payne wasn’t done throwing verbal jabs.
‘What’s wrong, DJ? Did I embarrass you? Or are you jealous?’
‘Jealous? Of what?’
‘That another guy phoned me. I swear we’re just friends.’
Jones laughed to himself, surprised that Payne was still busting his balls. Normally Jones was the childish one in their friendship, always joking at inappropriate times, and Payne was the adult. The sudden role reversal made Jones wonder if his friend had stayed underwater a little too long.
‘On that note,’ Jones said, ‘I’m going to get a drink.’
Payne smiled in victory but couldn’t resist a knockout blow. ‘I think we’re out of daiquiris. But if you’d like, we can probably get a pink umbrella for your beer.’
4
Despite groans of protest from his guests, Payne lowered the volume on his stereo - low enough to return Kaiser’s call, yet loud enough to prevent eavesdroppers - then strolled to the far end of his boat. Some people might have viewed him as paranoid, but not Jones. Years of experience had taught them the value of secrecy. One of their superiors at the Pentagon used to say, ‘the smallest of leaks can sink the biggest of ships’, and they knew this to be true.
In their world, small leaks were often plugged with bullets.
Using his encrypted cell phone, Payne dialled 0-1-1, followed by the country code for Germany, and then Kaiser’s number. A few seconds later, he was chatting with the man who ran the largest black market network in Europe.
‘Thanks for getting back to me so quickly,’ Kaiser said. ‘I wasn’t sure if a man of your stature would return a call from someone like me.’
Payne smiled. ‘Why wouldn’t I? I talk to assholes all the time. Including DJ.’
Kaiser laughed loudly. Very few people had the guts to tease him, and even fewer had permission to do so. Payne was one of the chosen few. ‘How long has it been? Two, maybe three years?’
‘Gosh, I hope not. Otherwise we’re both getting old.’
‘In my line of work, there is no old. Only alive and dead.’
‘Damn, Kaiser, how depressing! And you wonder why I never call?’
Kaiser grinned, glad their rapport hadn’t diminished over time. If it had, he wouldn’t have revealed the real reason for his call. ‘So tell me, how’s the corporate world?’
‘Boring as hell. How about you? How’s the … um … concierge business?’
‘Lucrative.’
‘Even in a recession?’
‘Especially in a recession.’
‘Good to know,’ Payne said, although he wasn’t the least bit surprised.
‘What about DJ? How’s he doing?’
Payne glanced at Jones, who was sipping a beer while sitting nearby. ‘Right now he’s working on his tan. I can put him on if you’d like.’
‘Actually,’ Kaiser said, ‘can I speak to both of you at once? That might be easier.’
‘Not a problem. Let me put you on hold and call his cell. We can do one of those menage a call things.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘You know, a three-way call.’
Kaiser laughed at the term. ‘Now that’s funny. I’ll have to remember that.’
‘Trust me, they’re hard to forget,’ Payne joked as he put Kaiser on hold.
Jones looked at him, confused. ‘So, what did he want?’
Payne shrugged. ‘I don’t know yet. He wants to talk to both of us.’
‘About what?’
‘No idea. But he seems in good spirits. I doubt it’s anything major.’
‘Bet you a buck that someone died.’
Payne smiled. ‘A whole dollar? Are you sure you can afford that?’
‘Fine! Let’s make it a hundred. That way I can use your money to pay off all the bets I lost on your swim. I think there’s some justice in that.’
‘Let’s see if I got this straight: You’re using gambling to settle your gambling debts? Sounds foolproof to me.’
Jones feigned indignation. ‘Give me a break, Jon. It’s not like I need an intervention. In fact, I’ll bet you twenty bucks I don’t have a gambling problem.’
Payne laughed as he dialled Jones’s number. ‘Just answer your phone so we can talk to Kaiser. I’m curious about his call.’
A moment later, the