his hips just a little, just enough to make her wish they were out here all alone, under a moonlit sky.
She swallowed hard. “I’d better…I need…”
“What do you need?” he asked, amusement in his eyes.
“Heat,” she blurted.
He laughed. “This isn’t making you hot enough?”
“Sun,” she insisted, refusing to concede. She waved in the general direction of the beach. “I need to get back.”
“Because?”
She opted for total honesty. “Because, Sean Devaney, you scare the daylights out of me.”
He seemed genuinely shocked by that. “Me? Why?”
“Because you make me feel things, want things, I’d never expected to want again.”
He regarded her with a commiserating look. “Tell me about it. This—you and me—it was the last thing I expected.”
“Or wanted,” she guessed.
“Or wanted,” he agreed.
Somehow knowing that he didn’t want this—didn’t want to want her—hurt more than she’d anticipated it would. Of course he didn’t. How many times had he made it plain that commitment was the last thing on his mind? She remembered another man—Frankie—who’d hedged about the future, but she’d been so confident that they could defy the odds. Was she willing to take on another man with doubts?
“It doesn’t have to go any further than this,” she said stiffly, gathering her pride around her.
He touched a finger to her lips. “I think you and I both know that it’s impossible to turn back now.”
“Not impossible,” she insisted.
He shrugged. “Unlikely, then.”
Yes, she thought, refusing to waste her breath arguing. It was definitely unlikely that they could turn back now. If only she could be equally certain just what the future held.
Chapter Twelve
The rest of the week in Cape Cod was pure torment. Sean’s desire was a palpable thing—with him whenever he was in a room with Deanna, with him at night when she was in her own bed in a room upstairs. Not even the presence of Ruby and Hank or Kevin’s constant chatter could take his mind off Deanna and his insatiable need for her.
He was unable to put a name to it that he could live with. Calling it lust diminished it. Describing it as love terrified him. Better just to acknowledge its existence and not label it at all.
Adding to his level of frustration was the fact that Deanna didn’t seem the least bit unnerved by the simmering passion between them. It was as if that moment in the ocean had never happened. She was perpetually cheerful. She didn’t seek him out, but neither did she avoid him. She seemed perfectly content with the blasted status quo, while Sean was about to tear his hair out.
He wondered if his brother had gone through any of this when he’d fallen for Maggie. Had Ryan been even half as reluctant as Sean was to make a commitment? Had he struggled with the past, with their parents’ inability to stay the course, as Sean seemed to be struggling? He’d have to ask him one of these days.
Right now, though, he was so edgy, he was snapping at everyone except Kevin. He probably would have bitten the boy’s head off, as well, but one look at that innocent face with its new freckles and peeling, sunburned nose had him cutting off the sharp words on the tip of his tongue. No child should ever have to pay for the craziness going on in the lives of the adults around him.
Sean could hardly wait to get back to Boston and back to work, even if it was going to be a few more weeks before he’d have Hank back as his partner. In fact, he was so relieved by the prospect of being alone in his apartment, he dropped Deanna, Kevin and Ruby off first with barely a word of goodbye, then headed for Hank’s, hoping to escape from there without an interrogation about his sour mood.
He should have known better. It became obvious the minute they were alone that Hank intended to poke and prod the same way Sean had nagged at him during his divorce and was still nagging at him about Ruby.
“You going to tell me what’s wrong?” Hank asked when Sean pulled to a stop in front of his place.
“No.”
“You and Deanna have a fight?”
“No.”
“You and Deanna have sex?”
Sean whirled around and glared at Hank. “You know damn well we didn’t.”
“Hey, I wasn’t watching the two of you every minute. I had my own problems to deal with.” He gave a rueful shake of his head. “If this isn’t pitiful. The two of us, who have the reputation of