We can’t sail out of Panama without a zarpe.
For that you want to go back to Porvenir, Teddy said.
Michael squinted. Why?
The guy at the border of Colombia is a jerk. Excuse my language. They’ll give you an exit permit in Porvenir, no problems.
That’s a good idea, I said.
Porvenir is upwind, Juliet, Michael said. It would take forever to sail without power.
I shrugged. You’ll have to go alone. By road.
Michael scoffed. And leave you guys here?
All six of us took a look around at the harbor. Placid and uninhabited. Egrets posed in the trees.
We can give you a lift to Tigre, Teddy said. Boats head to Porvenir all the time from there.
We could keep an eye out for your family, another boy offered. What with little kids aboard and everything.
Thank you, Michael said, looking sad. We’ll think hard.
Good. So…The boys glanced at one another. Would you mind if we said a prayer for your boat?
Well, Michael said with a sigh. That can’t hurt.
Teddy stood and grabbed Juliet’s side stay. The three bowed their heads.
O Father, Teddy said.
I slapped Michael’s arm. He bowed his head too.
You are always there, Father. For Your love reaches everywhere. Above the clouds, beneath the sea. In the brightness of day and through the dark starry night. I know Your hand will cover me. Upon the heavens, or over bridges, in deepest valleys, rocky cliffs. You keep me safe. You watch over me. I choose to put my trust in Thee.
I looked up, but the boys were still frowning in concentration.
If my boat breaks down, I know that You will guide me, O Father. You will not leave me on the waters alone. You will show me the way forward. I give You my fears and anxieties and You will teach my heart to trust. And in turn, I will love You and spread Your word, O Father. Amen.
Finally, their faces relaxed and they looked up at us. The clouds had passed overhead and they stood amid glittering water. They appeared satisfied, even relieved.
We’ll stop by later and see what you’ve decided. Would that be OK?
Sure, Michael said. We really appreciate your concern. Thank you.
The boys motored off, leaving Sybil gazing at their wake.
What’s a missionary? she asked.
Missionaries are people who want everyone to believe in their God. They are here to “save” the Guna.
What’s wrong with the Guna?
Nothing is wrong with the Guna.
I believe in God, Sybil said. I believe the missionaries.
Fine, I said, smoothing her sweaty hair. We need all the help we can get.
Dear God. Did you know that jellyfish have their mouths in the same place as their anus? Dear God. Did you know that you can change from a girl into a woman but not from a girl into a rhinoceros? We came from the monkeys (as you know). We lost our hair. But if you want to be a rhinoceros you have to wait for the next life. I believe we come alive over and over again. This is just the first life.
O God, are you just in the sky or also in the water? I think the water too. When the boat is going fast I look over the side and I have seen you looking back at me, O Father. Did you find my Baby Nugget, O? She is wearing a red dress and a white skirt and she’s got big excited eyes. I don’t always tell the truth, Father. I tell the truth but my bones lie. Baby Nugget fell overboard. I should not have been playing with her on deck, O Dear One. Also I pinch my brother when Mommy isn’t looking. Dear God the Father. Please protect the China childs in China and the Australia childs in Australia and the Guna childs in Guna Yala and watch over my daddy on his journey, O Lord.
We debated for hours. Whether I should go to Porvenir w/out them.