his head. “That isnae what I meant.”
“That doesn’t make it less true.”
He watched her for a long moment. “It doesna matter what is true. Only what you believe.”
She nodded at her own words on his lips. “Then we are in agreement. I am not interested in laying blame, Your Grace. I am simply interested in leaving this room and deciding which lucky gentleman I must charm into saddling himself with me as wife.”
He swore again, and she took it as her cue to leave, turning on her heel and heading to the door where Derek had exited minutes earlier. Once there, she turned back to find Alec still as stone in a wash of moonlight, his coat in tatters, along with a tear in one thigh of his trousers. Set against the dainty furniture in the little sitting room, he looked like something out of a scandalous novel—a criminal, sneaking into a proper home to pillage his spoils.
And, somehow, at the same time, he looked rather perfect.
What if he did want her?
She put the thought away.
“Let me captain this ship, Alec. I might dash it upon the rocks and send myself into the depths, but at least I did it myself.”
Before he could reply, she turned away and yanked open the door, coming face-to-face with Countess Rowley, who seemed in no way surprised to discover Lily inside the dark room. Indeed, Lady Rowley simply smiled a secret smile and leaned in. “Is Alec within, darling?”
Lily was set back by the familiarity in the question. “Alec?”
The countess clarified. “Your guardian.”
Lily gave a little humorless huff of laughter at the descriptor and opened the door farther, revealing Alec beyond.
Lady Rowley’s gaze lit in predatory glee. “I knew it. I just witnessed your former lover exit this corridor looking as though he’d been taken to task by a devastating brute. And I knew it was my devastating brute.” Lily went stick-straight at the words. She hated the sound of them in the countess’s pretty, breathless voice. Hated the possession inherent in them. But most of all, she hated the descriptor, disparaging and sexual, like he was a bear to be tamed rather than a man.
“Alec, you heroic beast,” Lady Rowley purred, “I was hoping I’d find you somewhere dark, darling. To resume our acquaintance.”
There was no question of the meaning of the countess’s words.
They were lovers.
Lily ignored the pang of disappointment that surged, telling herself that any disappointment was because she had thought better of his taste in lovers.
It had nothing to do with the idea that he had a lover, full stop.
Lily looked over her shoulder to Alec, who was looking directly at Lady Rowley, with an intensity Lily had never experienced. And she could not stop the emotion that flooded her. Betrayal.
“Darling.” The countess sighed. “Look at you, coat in tatters, still as big and broad and strong as ever. My goodness, I’ve missed you.”
Lily closed the door before she could hear the answer. She did not wish to hear the answer. Let him spend the rest of the evening with his paramour. Let her tend to his bruised knuckles and ego. Lily wanted out of this room. Out of this house. Out of this damn world with its rules that meant different things for different people.
And she meant to get out, without him.
This was not the first time she’d been alone, after all. Lillian Hargrove had made a life of being alone. And the arrival of a massive Scotsman would not change that.
By the time she reached the entrance to the ballroom, she was nearly deafened by the cacophonous chatter within. No one was dancing, despite the orchestra playing a perfect quadrille. Instead, all of London stood in little huddled groups, bowed heads and fluttering fans and gleeful sotto voce. Despite the fact that this was an event designed to underscore the social differences between people, gossip remained the great unifier.
Lily was no fool. She knew the subject of the chatter. Knew, too, that she would soon be a part of it.
Even before Sesily Talbot approached, clutched her hands, and spoke, low and quiet. “Good Lord! When I said that you and Warnick should make Hawkins the villain, I did not mean that you should beat him almost to death!”
“It wasn’t almost to death,” Lily said.
“He crossed the room with a swollen cheek, a split lip, and an eye that would make a fighter wince.” Sesily paused. “Not that I didn’t enjoy the portrait he made.”
Lily couldn’t help but smile