cowardly asshole did this to her. I’m staying for our kids. For you. Remember that.”
I turned on my heel and walked calmly to our bedroom, closing the door gently behind me. Didn’t slam it. Then I leaned my back against it, sank down until my butt hit the floor. And I sobbed. Soundlessly.
I didn’t want to stay.
I wanted to be strong enough—or was it weak enough—to pack up the kids, drain our savings and leave. Disappear into the night and start a new life. Tell my parents, of course, but not where.
It was so intoxicating, the thought of escaping from this dark and scary point in my life. In our marriage.
But I couldn’t.
Wouldn’t.
I’d made a vow.
‘Til death do us part.
I intended to keep that vow.
So did Ranger. I knew that. He wouldn’t leave me until the reaper took him.
And I found myself wondering how long that would be.
Five Years Later
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” I whispered, watching Ranger strap on his holster, checking the clip of his gun before sliding it in.
He turned to me. “Yeah, babe. You should have a bad feeling about this. It’s gonna be bad. Gonna be bloody.”
I scowled at him. “Way to make me feel better,” I snapped.
He shrugged his cut on and made his way over to me. As pissed as I was at my husband—and I was—there was no way I couldn’t appreciate him sauntering over to me in his cut. Even after all these years, after kids, losses, fights, cracks in our marriage, deaths... I still had the same reaction to him that I’d had when I was a teenager.
We’d worked hard on it. On this feeling. This love. After that horrible, terrible night when his lips had touched someone else’s, we’d worked harder than ever.
He treated us all with reverence. With adoration. Still carried his guilt around, but we’d worked through it. Worked through that and all the other obstacles we came across.
And I loved him more and more every day.
His hands clutched my neck, then he pulled me in so our foreheads touched. “I’m not gonna be able to make you feel better this time,” he said. “I’ve been married to you long enough to know that no matter what I say, it’s not going to stop you worrying anyway. Though you’ll hide it well in front of the rest of the women because that’s who you are. You don’t want them to worry, wanna take care of them. The kids. You’ll take it all on so nobody else has to.” He stroked my cheek. “One of the many things that infuriates me about you. I hate thinking of you in pain, clutched by that much worry. But I also love you for your damn heart. Soul.” His eyes searched mine. ”We both know that there is no way around this. No way outta this or around it. There’s only through. And, baby, we’ve been through a lot before. We’ll get through this too.”
“We’ve never been through this before,” I whispered.
We’d been through a lot. So much ugliness. Risk. But I couldn’t put my finger on why this felt different. It was as though there was a certainty hanging in the air, painted on the men’s faces, telling methat not all of them were coming out of this.
“Ah, but you forget, baby. I made you a promise,” Ranger mused, his gaze searching my face with his head cocked to the side. “I promised that I’d grow old with you. That I’d meet our grandkids. That I’d scare the absolute shit out of Lily’s first boyfriend. Walk her down the aisle. Throughout the years, I’ve done a lot of shit wrong, haven’t been the best husband, father, but one thing has always been true: I’m going to keep that promise.”
He laid his lips on mine. It was meant to be light. They were about to ride out, after all. But I grasped on. Made the kiss harder, more violent. I needed to imprint myself onto his lips so he’d feel me until he came back to me. I needed to taste him on my tongue, a reminder that he was alive. That he was coming back.
“Baby,” he hissed, pulling back ever so slightly. “I’ve gotta go.”
I didn’t reply, just put my hands to his belt and started unbuttoning. “Well, then you’d better be quick. Because you’re not leaving here until you’ve fucked me so hard, I forget how scared I am.”
His eyes flared with a desire that had never