and then maybe some Ben and Jerry’s.
You can’t possibly be hungry.
I threw up four courses, of course I’m hungry.
I decide the problem calls for something stronger than Ben and Jerry’s. Even their combined awesomeness isn’t enough for tonight, so I hit up Uber Eats and decide to shower while I wait.
After putting on undies, one of Dad’s tee-shirts, and my robe, I crash on the couch as I wait for my delivery.
Lying on the couch, my foot flat on the floor in hopes the room stops spinning, and the other— my injured one— on the back of my couch because it’s sore from trying to walk when I’m loaded, my door opens.
Startled, I sit up and see Ethan walking toward me.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” I say, pushing myself the rest of the way up.
“Ye’ve convicted and punished me already, Elizabeth Bloom. Ye will hear me out.”
Anger boils inside of me, and I can’t contain it. “I’m not sure what kind of woman, except in a fictional situation, could show the grace I did on that freaking boat and the democracy you seem to be asking for, but I’m fucking real, and this house is mine. I’ve been dicked over, and I won’t be a fucking doormat again. So walk away, Dr. Nail-Me-and-Screw-Her, because … because …” I scowl and point at him. “Because, fuck you!”
He stands in front of me, still in his clothes from earlier sans the jacket, and his tie is loosened. His hair is messy as he clenches his jaw and crosses his arms over his chest.
“The date was already made before I nailed ye. I canceled with her last night and took her with me tonight because I owed her. Do you ken why I cancelled?” Not waiting for an answer, not that I’d be giving him one anyway, he says, “Because ye threatened me.”
Threatened, pft.
“Owed her what?” As soon as the question leaves my mouth, sounding all needy and desperate, I shake my head. “Never mind. You need to leave. I have a friend coming over, and I owe him a little something, too.”
He narrows his eyes. “I suggest ye tell me ye’re full of shit, or ye’ll not be with me again.”
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” I lift my nose and cross my arms. “He’ll be here soon.” I point to the door.
“Ye’re making me purposely angry, Elizabeth Bl—”
“I saw her car in your driveway, your hair and clothes are disheveled, and I’m not having this discussion with you.”
“I came over here to get away from—”
“Did you fuck her?”
“Since ye, of course not. I’m a man of my fucking word!”
“Do I look stupid to you?”
“I told ye—”
“I need you to go so I can get dressed. He’ll be here soon.”
God, I hope it’s a he.
“Don’t be difficult, Elizabeth Bloom.”
When my phone pings, I dive across the couch, grab my phone, sit up, and look at the screen alerting me that James from Uber Eats will arrive in ten minutes.
“James will be here in ten minutes.”
“And where did ye meet this James?”
“Not that it’s any of your concern, but I met him the same way I did you— on the dating app.”
“How many times must I tell ye—”
Anger boils over me. “I’m asking you to leave, not tell me anything!”
“Not a safe way to meet a man,” he snaps.
“Not that I could possibly put a dent in your ginormous ego, but James and I go way back.”
He looks stunned then pissed as he turns around, shaking his head, and walks to the door. “Have it yer way, Ms. Bloom.”
Ms. Bloom. No longer Elizabeth Bloom.
Ouch.
Looking out the window beside my door, I watch for James, my pretend booty call. When he arrives, I hurry out, which hurts like hell, open his passenger door, and slide in.
“Um …?”
“Look, James, I know this is an odd request, but I’ll give you a twenty to drive me around for ten minutes.”
“I have another delivery in —”
“Perfect, I’ll ride along with you.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy.
“James, put this baby in drive, and I’ll give you an extra five.”
“You’re not crazy or something, are you?”
“Not the kind you should be afraid of.”
You sure about that?
He shrugs. “I guess it’s okay.”
“Let’s roll, James.”
Well played, Ms. Bloom.
Ethan
Standing around the corner of her house like a fucking stalker, I watch her get in the car. “Ye’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“What’s going on?” Simon asks through the receiver as I watch the car pull away from