The setting sun washed it with warmth and the sky had taken on a rosy hue. “Considering the way I…I behaved around you.”
“I know why you behaved the way you did.”
Because she loved him. She’d told him she was in love with him, and he’d heard the words. Sara felt smaller and smaller by the second, and she decided she’d collect Imogen immediately and be on her way while she was still tall enough to reach the gas pedal of her car.
Joaquin dropped her hand to wrap both of his around the deck railing. “It was the same reason I behaved the way I did.”
Puzzled, she stared at him. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He glanced over. “I’ve not been too happy with the way you make me feel, Sara.”
Embarrassed? Obligated?
“It’s easier to be the reclusive single man, you see. To keep free of attachments in case you fuck them up and let down the ones you care about.”
“You didn’t let down Felipe,” Sara said, aching for the self-reproach Joaquin couldn’t seem to surrender. “It wasn’t like that.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Joaquin sucked in a long breath and turned to face her. “The fact is, he let me down.”
She blinked.
“And I might have learned to let go of my guilt and regrets if I haven’t been so damn infuriated with him about that for the last fifteen years.”
“You’re angry with him.”
Joaquin shoved his hands into his pockets. “He left me, Sara. And my father left me.”
And your mother before them both, Sara thought.
“And then you left me.” Joaquin’s gaze bored into hers. “I’m so fucking ticked at all of you.”
“Are you mad at me, too?”
Sara turned to see Essie walk onto the deck with Imogen in her wake. The pop singer’s gaze snapped from Sara to Joaquin.
“Maybe, Essie, we should go back inside…”
“Stay,” Joaquin said. “I might need witnesses.” His expression darkened. “Or someone to stop me from committing a not-accidental homicide if the butler won’t cooperate.”
Suddenly wary, Sara stepped back.
Joaquin moved closer. “You didn’t trust me with your ‘scandal,’” he said, putting air quotes around the last word. “And you didn’t trust me with your feelings for me.”
That stung. She lifted her chin. “Did you want to know I’d fallen in love with you?”
“I didn’t want any of it,” he shot back. “I wanted to stay in the darkest corner of my private bachelor cave and not commune with anyone. But then you lured me out with your cookie crumbs and your rose petals and your chicken and dumplings and these walls and floors and sheets and pillowcases and cushions that you’ve made into a home.”
Her pounding heart had moved into her throat, nearly choking her.
“So now I want it all, Sara,” Joaquin continued. “And it’s a fucking risk that I’ve spent fifteen long years running from. What are you going to do about that?”
“Me?”
“You’re at my service, remember?”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Sara’s hand went to her head as she attempted to rewind the conversation. When had this all started going south? “What’s the reason,” she started slowly, “you behaved the way you did around me?”
“I fell in love with you, Sara.”
She jolted, backing into the deck’s dining table. Glancing around, she noted Essie’s big eyes and Imogen’s barely suppressed smile. Then she faced Joaquin again. “Don’t you remember? We don’t trust love.”
“We said that, didn’t we? We agreed we didn’t trust passion, love, marriage—and we had good reasons. So you know what I figure?”
“What?”
“I figure nothing could get past our high, sturdy walls unless it was the real thing.” He crossed to her and cupped her face in his big hands. “The real fucking thing.”
Dazed, she curved her fingers around his wrists to ensure she wasn’t dreaming. But he was there, solid and strong, looking down at her with tenderness and…wariness.
Sara had whispered her true feelings and then run for her life, while he’d been brave enough to speak his out loud—and with witnesses to boot.
“I think you’re right,” she said, tears springing to her eyes and her body starting to tremble. How else had the demands of her heart overridden her practical, cautious nature? “It…it must be the real thing.”
Oh, God. The real thing! Delight started coursing through her veins, bubbly and intoxicating, like champagne.
Smiling now, Joaquin nodded. “Which means you’re going to fuss over me until the end of days. I’m going to make you happy for at least that long.” His mouth descended, and she started to rise on tiptoe to meet it. Then an insect-like buzz