come from you.” He pulls a cigarette from behind his ear. I pull the lighter from my pocket and light it up.
“I still dream about it, brother. I see Briann’s face every damn time. I saw the same thing in Whit too. I should have known somethin’ wasn’t right with her. It wasn’t right with Briann, and I fuckin’ ignored it. Where did that get her? Briann’s dead and Whit tried to kill herself,” I tell him honestly. My heart hurts. It’s not just for my sister either. It aches for Whitley and whatever the hell she went through. I can’t fix it though. I can’t make it any better, so what’s the point in even trying?
“Fuck me. That girl has a mess of her own. Don’t do this shit to yourself.”
I blow out a ring of smoke before I toss my cigarette to the ground and snuff it out with the toe of my boot.
“I’m gonna go check on shit at Joe’s. He had a problem with some of the Dwellers about a week ago. Tell Viking I’ll call and let him know what’s goin’ on,” I say as I walk away. I need a minute. I need time to let my head work around what happened. I’m not doing anyone any good until I can work through this shit.
Climbing on my bike, I let my rage and anger course through my veins as I ride. That’s the best I can do at the moment. I have to get this shit out of me somehow, and if I’m not killing someone this is my next best bet. I rev my bike, taking the curves at the highest possible speed I can. Every fucking demon that haunts my life sits at the edge of the road. They’re taunting me and laughing at me. One day I’ll be with Briann and our mom again. One day I won’t have to worry about any of this shit, but today is not that day. I have people that rely on me. My club is relying on me.
I watched the heartache that tore through our chapter in California when Crow, one of theirs, killed himself. I watched as everyone spiraled out of control. Shit got bad for them for quite a while. They’ve slowly made their way back, but when it happened, they crumbled. I couldn’t imagine leaving my boys like that. I understand why Crow did what he did, and I don’t really blame him either. His life was as hard as anyone else’s was, probably far more after what he lived with.
Losing a child had to be the worst feeling in the world. I know when my mom died, it stole a piece of me, but it stole more from Briann.
Pulling into Joe’s I park around the back and climb off my bike. Heading in the direction of the back door, I spot him immediately.
“Heard you had some issues,” I say catching his attention. Joe turns to face me slowly with his brows furrowing with annoyance.
“Some? Are you shitting me? Those fuckers have been giving me hell,” Joe grumbles. I nod my head and take a step closer.
“What have they been doin’?” I ask, following him out into the bar area before I lean against the counter.
“Coming in here demanding I tell them where you guys are holding your shit. I told them I don’t know anything. That false wall has been a fuckin’ godsend.” I watch the worn look on Joe’s face and it pisses me off. He shouldn’t have to deal with this shit on our account.
“We have a place out about thirty minutes. We’re workin’ on getting’ it ready. We won’t be usin’ you anymore after that Joe. Viking wants to compensate you though.” Joe shakes his head, running a hand through his greying hair.
“I don’t need it. I’m doing fine here Mason. You know I don’t mind helping you guys out. You have always helped me when I needed it.” I nod my head in agreement as I stand up off the counter.
“Yeah, but still. We don’t want you doin’ our shit for free,” I chuckle. Joe nods his head before looking up at me.
“Can I ask you a question Mason?”
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“What happened with Whitley?” Fuck. This is not something I wanted to talk about. My chest is heavy with everything that happened.
“She got in too deep with our agreement. I don’t know what happened when she was off with Armando, Joe. I wish to fuck I