it painted all over his stomach. I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. I did that to him? I hurt him. For what? For my own sick need?
“It’s not that bad,” he adds.
I shake my head as tears begin to fall. After all of these years of keeping it all bottled up, he shattered the glass, and broke me into a million pieces. He broke me.
“I need to go,” I say while wiping my eyes.
Monster just chuckles and gets out of the bed. He walks around to my side, grabs my hand, and pulls me along with him. He takes us into the bathroom where he starts the shower before dragging me into it with him. He reaches behind me and unhooks my bra, then slides it down my shoulders. I hadn’t even noticed that I still had it on.
“I’m fine Kyza,” he insists once more when my eyes move to the wound I inflicted on him as my chest tightens.
“I stabbed you,” I whisper.
“Yeah. It was kinda sexy as fuck too.”
My eyes jerk to his and I see that sexy smile curve his lips.
“Why do you care?”
He shrugs and grabs the soap putting it on the sponge in his hand.
“I don’t really. I knew I saw somethin’ in you. I just wanted to see it. I had to witness it.”
He moves the sponge to my body and begins washing me slowly.
“Was it everything you expected it to be?”
Monster laughs. It’s a real laugh. He continues to clean me as he’s laughing. When he’s finished he cleans himself, paying close attention to the wound on his stomach. I cringe internally and curse myself for doing that to him, but he pushed me until I couldn’t take any more.
“You shouldn’t hide it,” his voice is soft as he reaches around me to turn the water off.
He steps out and passes me a towel. I climb out behind him and watch as he grabs a first aid kit and puts it on the counter. I move around him and pull it open to take out what we need.
“It probably needs stitches,” I mumble under my breath as he leans against the counter with his towel hanging loosely around his waist.
“It’ll be fine. I just don’t want it bleedin’ all over my shirt.”
I go about cleaning him up and put a patch over the wound when he grabs my wrist. I look up at him and I can see the heat in his gaze.
“Why do you hide who you are?”
“I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be someone that can’t control their own anger. I kill. I don’t want to be that girl,” I reply honestly.
Monster pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.
“You can’t change who you are.”
“I have to. I’m not that person.”
I shake my head and walk back into his room, Monster follows behind me.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why can’t you see who you really are Kyza? You aren’t this little girl that needs to hide out in Paul’s clinic. There is so much more to you. Why don’t you put it to use?”
He’s doing it again and he’s pissing me off. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I was her, and this is where it led me.
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“So tell me.”
“I don’t want to tell you Monster. Why can’t you just let this go?”
I’m yelling again. I can’t help it. He’s testing me, and I’m losing. I can’t lose.
“Because I saw it Kyza. I fuckin’ see you.”
“You didn’t see shit. Fuck this. Fuck you!” Monster nods his head and moves over to the dresser. He pulls my clothes out of the drawer and throws them to me.
“You wanna act like I don’t know my own fuckin’ kind? Go for it. You wanna play the victim and cry the rest of your life? Have at it. You wanna pretend that the real you isn’t in there? Fuck you Kyza. You know what? You’re right. You’re fuckin’ weak.”
Chapter 13
Monster
I don’t regret a lot of things in my life. I’m just me, and that’s the best I can do. Shit happens and there’s nothing I can do about it. Why should I even try? Why should I care? The one thing I do regret is telling Kyza that she was weak. Something flared in her eyes when I told her that. It was deep and painful. I crossed a line with her that night, and I’ve kept my distance ever since.