let my gaze linger on anyone in particular, but I do wonder what’s in those crates.
“It might be. He’s in a mood today for some reason.”
“Shit. I think that might be my fault too,” I mumble. Viking stops walking and looks over at me, tilting his head to the side as if he’s studying me.
“Why is that?”
“He came to find me today and asked me to go out with him.”
“And?”
“And I kinda touched his scars. I think I might have maybe pushed him too far,” I answer feeling bad now that I’ve done it.
“No. I think that’s exactly what he needs. Challenge that son of a bitch. He holds himself hostage when he gets like this. He needs a woman to push his buttons,” Viking says sounding sure of himself.
“Yeah, because you’re not on the receiving end of it.”
“Doesn’t matter. He’d never hurt you. You know that right?”
Viking looks too serious and I want to nod my head in agreement, but I can’t. I don’t actually know that. I see the man that he is in his eyes and I want to believe the he wouldn’t hurt me, but so many have in the past.
“What the fuck are you doin’ here?”
That voice. God I could get used to hearing that voice all the time.
“Oh, you know? Just wandering. I was out, or I was going out until I got stood up. I don’t have anything better to do, so here I am.”
Monster looks from me to his friends who are chuckling next to me.
“You just let some random bitch in?” he asks while looking at Viking.
My mouth falls open and I’m about to say more when Viking moves. His hands slam into Monster which causes him to stumble back a few steps.
“Watch your fuckin’ mouth brother. I’m so fuckin’ tired of you actin’ like this. This isn’t you. Get your damn head together,” Viking snaps before stepping around him and going inside. Monster just stands there and runs his hand through his hair.
“I’ll go. I’m sorry.”
“No. Stay. I’m… fuck, I’m sorry.”
“No I get it. I tapped into a dark spot when I shouldn’t have,” I say looking over my shoulder at him. Monster shakes his head and moves toward me slowly.
“I don’t know exactly what you see in me Kyza. Women don’t look at me the way you do. Club whores do, but real women like you? They don’t.”
I swallow hard and turn to face him. So much pain and hurt is held in Monster’s eyes that it hurts me to look into them.
“Real women like me? I’m nothing special Monster. Like I said before, we all have a past.”
I take a step back and he counters my step. He moves forward and his eyes are dancing in the sunlight.
“You wanna push me? The only time I’m free is in the dark darlin’.” My heart beats faster the closer he gets.
“You can be you anytime you want,” my voice cracking slightly. Monster stops in front of me. He leans down so that his lips are near my ear.
“I’m always in the dark,” he whispers and shivers race over my body. My heart beats even faster. My knees are weak. It’s him. How in the hell did I not know it was him?
“It was you.”
Monster pulls back and stares down at me.
“Are you scared?”
I shake my head no, I’m not scared, I’m confused. I don’t understand why he would do that.
“Why?” I ask as a tear runs down my cheek and my chest rises and falls rapidly. He lied to me. Didn’t he?
“Look at me. What can I offer you like this?” he asks pointing to himself.
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m nothin’ in the light. Nothin’. I walk around bein’ the Monster that they think I am. I do what I do to survive Kyza. This is me.”
“I know that. I know this is you, and I’ll take it.” I catch myself by surprise with my words. Monster doesn’t say anything as he looks at me, his gaze is burning into the depths of my soul.
“You what?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life Monster. Never. There was always a hole deep inside me and that’s where the dark is. I’ve done things that I regret doing. I’ve hurt people. I’ve run. I’ve hid. Now I’m tired. I’m tired of being in the dark all of the time. Do you have any idea how exhausting all of this is?” I cry as tears spill down my face.