question has been nagging at me. I’ve asked myself a million times why he kissed me the way he did. I still haven’t come up with an answer and God how I want one, almost need one.
“What do you mean?”
“Which part are you sorry for?”
“Yellin’ at you. Tryin’ to force you to answer questions you don’t have answers for.”
He looks away as if he’s ashamed and that tugs at my heart. I pull out my cigarettes and hold the pack out to him offering him one. When he looks back over to me he smirks and takes one. I watch as he lights it up and takes a long drag.
“This mean I’m forgiven?” he asks as he moves to lean against the building.
“Nothing to forgive. You reacted to something that’s bothering you. That’s normal.”
“Thanks doc.”
I look up at him and find him smiling down at me. It makes my heart leap and start to beat a little faster. Whatever he’s looking for, he isn’t going to find in me. I’ve thought about telling him that, but what’s the point?
“Can I ask you somethin’?”
I nod.
“You said that you saw the same darkness in me that you see in yourself. What did you mean by that?”
Nope. Not happening. Not a chance in hell will I tell him anything like that.
“Nothing. I didn’t mean a thing by it.”
I toss my cigarette to the ground and stand from the window ledge, brushing my jeans off. As I turn to walk back toward the building I can feel him behind me.
“What are you scared of?”
His question grabs my heart and holds tightly to it.
“Nothing.”
“Liar. You’re afraid of somethin’. What is it?”
“The past.”
He walks even closer and his warmth surrounds me as his hands move around to my waist. He pulls me back into him. God does it feel right. I don’t know how or why, but just feeling him near me calms everything.
“The past is exactly where it should be Kyza. We can’t live in the moment when we’re that scared of the past,” he says before he presses a kiss to the top of my head and releases me.
I hear his boots as he walks away and turn to watch him.
“What scares you?”
Monster stops walking and looks over his shoulder to say, “The future.”
Before I can say anything more he walks away. I watch his shadow as it completely disappears down the road. My chest tightens as I wonder if my mystery man is going to appear.
I head inside and stock things like I always do before I take a shower and head to my room. I run my fingers over the table as the memories of the way he took me take hold again. It’s the same feeling I get with Monster, the heated air and that electric current.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come back,” I whisper softly.
I’m pushed forward onto the bed on my chest again. My heart stammers inside of my chest. The only real emotion I can feel is when I’m with this man. I haven’t felt anything in so long, and now he’s ripping it out of me. I have no idea how to handle it.
In no time clothes are removed and a condom is put on. He thrusts into me roughly while holding my hips tightly with his hands. I want him to mark me. I want him to make me remember anything but what the past had to offer me. With each thrust I close my eyes and just enjoy the feeling of him inside of me. Each new memory of him will help erase the bad that was them. That’s what I keep telling myself, but then I begin to feel guilty.
Guilty for what? Because I’m having some of the most amazing sex of my life with an unknown man? Guilty that I feel some strange connection to Monster the same way I do to this man? What kind of mess is my head?
His lips come to rest on my shoulder as he slowly licks and sucks my skin into his warm mouth. My body shivers and my nipples grow even harder. All I want is for him to stay inside of me like this.
“Please don’t stop,” I beg him as heat coils inside of my body.
My blood is boiling and my need to come is overwhelming me. Tears are leaking down my cheeks as he grunts and groans. His cock is swelling inside of me, I clench my eyes shut as I explode around him and