She keeps treading water until I reach for her. I pull her against my chest and wrap her arms around my waist.
“There are a lot of things a man like me can handle. I can take blood, death, and destruction. I can handle those things, but Carnie I can’t handle seein’ him rip you apart. I know for sure that Fin isn’t gonna like this shit either. You want a real man darlin’? You’re goin’ about it all wrong. You don’t change for anyone. I told you that day that you needed to eat more. You’re starvin’ yourself for him. Why?”
My tone is even and controlled, but I have no idea how. I want to rip him the fuck apart. I want to feel the pulse of his neck under my fingers until it stops beating.
“He said he loved me like this,” she says with tears springing to her eyes.
“No sweetheart. Love isn’t makin’ someone sick. That’s hate. Hate for himself. Don’t do this to yourself Carn. I’m beggin’ you. Do you realize how you look right now?”
She shoves away from me again as the tears fall and she treads the water again.
“I’m so sorry I don’t look like the whores you’re used to Viking. Stay away from me,” she cries. I step toward her and grab her wrist.
“Yeah. That’s not happenin’. You are either gonna do what the fuck I say or I will tie your ass to my bed and do it myself. Your choice darlin’.”
With that I leave her bobbing up and down in the water as I head back to the shore.
“What the hell was that about?” Mason asks as he passes me a beer.
“None of your goddamn business.”
Chapter 10
CARNIE
I swam around earlier trying to get his face and his voice out of my head. That didn’t work out so well for me. Viking looked pissed. His eyes were hard and certain. He scared me. The thought of him tying me to his bed made me hot though. I can’t say that I didn’t understand what he meant, but Eric did say that he loved me. What more could I possibly ask for?
I slink around in my shorts and t-shirt watching my toes sink into the sand. It’s perfect out here. It’s calming and quiet.
“You okay?” Whitley asks as she steps up next to me.
“I don’t know honestly. I’m so confused.”
I’ve never admitted that to anyone, and I’m afraid of what Viking and Fin would do if they found out.
“Talk to me. What’s going on? Is it Eric?”
I nod my head and Whitley grabs my hand. She walks us out toward the water. She drops down into the sand and I follow her down.
“Eric told me I needed to lose weight. So, I did. Before I left he told me he loved me.”
“Okay. For one? You didn’t need to lose weight. He’s a dick for telling you that. Do you love him?” she asks and I shrug in return.
“You like someone else?”
“Viking,” I say his name softly, but Whit screams and draws the attention of the guys.
“It’s okay. I’m just excited,” she yells and waves them off. “Spill. I knew there was something between you two. So, tell me.”
“But that’s just it. There’s nothing. I stayed with him one night. We didn’t do anything but kiss and sleep. Then in the morning he kicked me out of his room and has avoided me since,” I tell her. I realize how pathetic I sound. I feel childish for even telling her about it.
“Viking’s a lot older than you. Maybe he just thought it was better this way?” Whitley smiles and grabs my hand. “With that being said, I’ve seen the way he’s been watching you Carn. There’s something there. I can see it. If any of the rest of these fools around here paid any attention they’d see it too.”
I sigh and lean into her.
“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore Whitley. What the hell do I do?”
“I can’t tell you what to do. What I can tell you is that I know how you feel. When I first met Mason I didn’t think it would work. I thought his life was too much for me. Over time I’ve learned that it isn’t about this life, but that it’s about us. I couldn’t imagine not having Mason in my life now. Can you picture living your life without Eric?”
“To be honest? Yes. He’s holding me back Whitley. I know he