to him. We technically haven’t done anything wrong. Neither of us knew. That has to mean something, right?
More than anything I’m terrified of losing the growing friendship between us. It seems so pathetic, but the relationship we’ve built the past few weeks has come to mean something to me. And yeah, I liked kissing him … a lot. But I can go without the kissing if it means I get to keep him.
I knock on the door, the sound soft and tentative like I’m afraid of being caught, which is ridiculous because it’s not like this is campus. Then again, maybe not so ridiculous because Molly could come out the door for some unknown reason.
Knocking again, louder and more desperate this time, I wait with bated breath but there’s nothing. I can’t even hear the sound of movement, though the doors are pretty thick.
With a grumble I yank my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans.
Me: Are you home?
Me: If you are stop ignoring me.
Me: Hayden. Seriously.
Me: We need to talk about this.
The last message has barely sent when the door swings open. He leans against the doorway, blocking my entry. He’s changed since class, now wearing a pair of gray cotton shorts that highlight the bulge there—I have to skate my eyes away quickly so I don’t get caught—and a plain white t-shirt.
“You shouldn’t be here.” His eyes won’t meet mine.
“I know.” A sigh rattles deep in my chest. “But we do need to talk about this. Can I come in?” His face screws up like the idea is absurd. “Please,” I practically beg. “I don’t need my friend to open the door and find me standing here talking to you.”
That gets him moving. He steps aside and lets me in, the door clicking closed behind us.
I haven’t been in his apartment before and find my eyes scanning the space. The walls are white like ours and completely bare, where I’ve tried to add paintings and a more personal touch. The couch is a simple black leather design lacking in throw pillows and blankets. Glass coffee table with a bottle of beer on it. Large T.V. on a basic stand. No curtains. No rug. No personality. It’s a total bachelor pad.
My eyes move back to him and he walks behind the kitchen island like he thinks it’s necessary to have a physical barrier between us.
I roll my eyes, an unattractive snort coming out of my nose. “Seriously? You act like you’re afraid of me.”
He places his palms on the shiny stone counter. “Did you know?” There’s a bite to his tone.
“Know what?” I give him a confused look.
“That I was your professor.”
My jaw drops. I throw my arms at my side. “Are you serious right now? How would I have known that?” I shake my head roughly. “Do you hear yourself?”
I’m disappointed and hurt that he’d think so little of me that I might set him up.
His head drops and his shoulders shudder with a sigh. “I’m sorry.” When his eyes meet mine, I see that he means it. “It took me by surprise that’s all.” He rubs a hand over his stubbled jaw.
Silence engulfs us, neither of us knowing how to breach it. This isn’t exactly a situation either of us expected to find ourselves in.
Crossing his arms over his chest, Hayden looks away from me, out the window to his left.
“Obviously this has to end.”
I arch a brow. “You make it sound like we’re in a relationship.” I don’t mean to sound condescending, but I know that’s exactly how it comes across. “We’re friends. That’s it. I don’t see why that should be an issue.”
He lowers his hands back to the counter. “The fact you don’t see the issue speaks volumes of the situation. Our friendship could easily be misconstrued as favoritism, or God forbid they found out we’d kissed and the assumptions that would be made on that basis alone. This is my job, Emilia. I won’t lose it because of you.” His tone is hard, rude, cutting. Not at all like the Hayden I’ve come to know. “And frankly, you shouldn’t be willing to throw your college career away because of me.”
I flinch, a stabbing feeling in my chest like he physically pushed a knife between my rib cage and twisted the object.
I fight back tears, refusing to let him see how much his words have hurt me. “I didn’t know you had a fiancée.”
The color drains from his face, turning his normally