no strings, you’re pretty tangled. I heard you last night, rustling around out here, raiding the kitchen.”
Stupid crinkly bag! Cheers, Hickory Sticks. Leia sat up and fought through a yawn. “I was hungry.”
“You were freaking out. I know the signs! You can’t sleep, you eat crap then look like shit the next morning—”
“Jeez, don’t hold back, Saz!” Leia blinked away the watery remnants of her yawn.
“Face it, Ley: you’re starting to fall for him. You want the job and Tarquin.” Sarah crossed her arms, letting her words settle before adding, “And I’d bet my chair on it.”
I hate when she says that. She’s right and knows it. Leia avoided her sister’s self-satisfied stare and sucked in a slow breath. “Okay, so I might…feel something.” And I hate myself for it.
Sarah leaned back with a smug grin. “Called it!”
“What was there to call?! You said it yourself, I’m starting to fall for him. But ‘starting’ doesn’t mean something has a middle—or a happy ending.” Leia stole the bag of chocolate from her sister’s lap. Curly Wurly Squirlies? She threw a dismissive look back. “Your whole argument is moot.”
“Hmm.” Sarah squinted into space and spun their mother’s engagement ring, a sparkly amethyst, around her finger.
What is she plotting? With a frown, Leia dipped into the bag of candy, pulling out two squiggly pieces. “Any fleeting feelings I have for Tarquin are totally by accident.” She sniffed the chocolate and took a wary bite.
“Feelings don’t happen by accident, Ley.” Sarah pursed her lips as her comment lingered, ignored by her sister.
These Squirlie things are hard. Leia chewed cautiously, the caramel waging war with her molars. But they taste pretty good. “Actually,” she maffled, “you might be right about something…” She paused, chewing with closed-mouthed intent.
“Let’s let that hang in the air, shall we?” Sarah smirked. “I was right!”
Leia rolled her eyes and swallowed, giving her jaw a much-needed rest. “Maybe hooking up isn’t good for me. It only worked with Xavi because—”
“He was a self-absorbed dick?”
“Exactly. He made it easy not to feel anything for him, and we shared nothing. I don’t even know if he’s got brothers or sisters, or what he does for fun besides burpees. There was absolutely no investment, no risk—for either of us.” She looked into the chocolate bag and gave it a shake, keen for another piece.
“Just how you like it.”
It is. “Tarquin’s different. He’s chatty and playful, interested in other people, and doesn’t take himself too seriously.”
“Which is pretty rare for someone of his wealth and connections,” said Sarah.
Leia nodded. “He’s always shown interest in me and Frill-Seekers. He’s never tried to get me to drink…”
“He’s definitely easy to talk to. Plus, he’s knee-wobbling hot.”
Yes to all of the above. Leia sighed into a slump. Their dinner, their conversation, the unplanned sex on the bridge all teased her, playing on a loop in her head. Tarquin made me feel appreciated, made me feel safe. He made me feel… loved? Leia’s chin quivered, but she quickly looked down at the foil candy packet in her hands, her hair creating a curtain, hiding the truth from her sister. I’m not ready for any of this. I can’t let myself fall for him any further and break the promise I made to myself. She flicked the chocolate package with her finger. Violetta’s call was more than a job offer—it was a parachute.
Sarah swiped her phone from the coffee table. “So, you don’t want to date, but you don’t want casual sex either?”
“Oh, I dunno.” Leia shrugged. “But all this angst is making me hungry.” She set the bag of chocolate on the floor and clocked the time on Sarah’s DVR. “It’s almost two thirty—is it too late for lunch?” I hope not. I can’t binge these Wurly Curlies or whatever the hell they’re called.
“Never.” Sarah smiled. “Listen, I know the last few hours have been a clusterfuck, but you can’t control how someone else is going to feel, Ley. You were honest with him, right? If he chose to think what you two had was more than it really was, well, that’s on him—not you.” Sarah squeezed her sister’s hand. “I just hope all this doesn’t make you regret coming over.”
“You kidding? I got to be with you.” Leia squeezed back.
“Good! Because I don’t want London to become another Garden City.”
“Tyler’s not the only reason I won’t go there anymore. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want you feeling down about all this. Tarquin’s a big boy.”