he could easily visualize.
She’d survived a war zone. He had to believe she could survive this, because he couldn’t fathom his life without her in it. Except now she wasn’t in it. Not anymore.
I need more than that.
He closed his eyes, thinking of that one moment earlier, that one moment he’d forgotten himself. It had been an electric moment as she’d stared at his mouth, desire plain on her face.
She’d wanted him to kiss her.
And for that one electric moment, he’d wanted that, too. More than anything.
Which would have been very bad for both of them.
Why? a small voice whispered in his mind. Why would that be so very bad?
He recognized the voice. He’d heard it before, every time he’d fleetingly considered kissing her. Used to be a lot more frequent. His answer back then had been a simple one.
She’s too young. So he’d shoved his feelings into the box inside his heart, the one where he kept all of the other emotions he couldn’t allow himself to feel—the rage with his father, the terror that one day his own temper would defy his control, and the unmitigated want he’d felt for Liza Barkley. They were taboo. They were untenable. They needed to stay locked in the damn box. But keeping Liza at arm’s length had always been a challenge at which he’d failed.
She’d been his biggest temptation. She still was.
But she wasn’t seventeen anymore. She wasn’t a traumatized teenage girl who’d just lost her sister to a killer. She was all grown up now and that small voice had become much less frequent as time had passed. He’d heard it mainly when she’d been home on leave. When he’d sat in the same room with her, able to smell her hair or feel the weight of her head on his shoulder when she’d fallen asleep watching TV.
Those were the times he’d wanted to touch her, but he’d shut those wants down every single time, despite the small why that tormented him.
They were friends. If they tried for more and it didn’t work out, they wouldn’t be anymore.
Are you friends now?
He was saved from answering himself by the light buzzing of his personal cell phone. Surprised that anyone would call him so late, he checked the caller ID.
Rafe Sokolov. Oh joy. Just one more person who’d tell him that he was fucking Liza up.
“Yeah?” Tom asked wearily.
“Did I wake you up?” Rafe asked, sounding concerned. “Gideon just drove by your place on his way home and said your office light was on.”
“It’s fine. I’m . . . working.” Actually, no. He wasn’t. He wasn’t working. He was brooding, which wasn’t going to help anyone. “Why was Gideon driving by my house?”
“He went to Walmart to get a nine-volt battery because his smoke detector was beeping every few minutes and making him crazy. I asked him to see if your lights were on since he lives so close. I won’t keep you, but I wanted to let you know that Liza is safe.”
Tom frowned. “What does that mean?”
“She’s moved into a very safe place. Good security. I thought it might ease your mind since my mother won’t tell you where she is, but she is safe. Gideon made sure to check every point of entry when he helped her move in.”
“He apparently didn’t lock her in,” Tom said sarcastically. “Because she was here.”
There was a beat of silence. “She was where?”
“Here, in my house.”
“Oh. Well, she’s back in her place now. She and Mercy are on the phone. Mercy’s eating ice cream because Liza is, and apparently there’s some girl-commiseration pact or something.”
“Rocky road,” Tom murmured. It was Liza’s go-to flavor when she was sad. He wondered how many times his actions had driven her to drown her sorrows in rocky road. “Thanks for letting me know. It was good of you.”
“Anytime,” Rafe said kindly. “You sound rough, Tom. Call one of us if you need anything, okay? Even my mom. She’s annoyed with you, but she’ll still listen and give you good advice. Maybe not the advice you want to hear, but . . . Anyway, have a good night.”
“Wait,” Tom said. “I need to tell you something.” Because Rafe had done him a solid when he hadn’t needed to. “Belmont is still lurking around Sacramento.”
A long moment of silence. “Give me another minute.” This time, the sounds were of a door closing and Rafe’s quiet groan. “I need to get a chair out here in the foyer. These steps