you I was sorry.”
I stared at him silently. I wasn’t giving an inch.
“Okay, fine. Have it your way. I’m here to apologize for doing you dirty. I was a jerk. I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m a complete tool.”
I couldn’t believe it, but Toby actually looked sincere. His remorse changed nothing. “I appreciate you coming all this way during a hurricane to say your piece in person. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to eat.” I stepped away, feeling better about my life than I had in months. I’d faced off with the man who had stomped my heart into the ground, and I was still standing.
“Dallas, wait.” Toby grabbed my arm, spinning me back around.
On the verge of tripping over my tangled feet, I reached out to steady myself. Thankfully, I managed to grab Toby’s biceps and kept my balance.
He took advantage of my being off-balance to kiss me. I gasped, and Toby’s tongue surged into my mouth. I was lost. It felt the same as it had all those months ago, as if we hadn’t missed a beat. Only we had. I had. With all my strength, I pushed at Toby’s chest.
“Don’t be like that. You know you want me.” Toby looked feral and wild.
“What the fuck, Dallas?” Saxon practically shouted, startling Toby away from me.
I instantly scrubbed the back of my hand over my lips. They still tingled with Toby’s kiss.
“You spent last night with me, and now you’re kissing him?” Hurt and anger warred in Saxon’s eyes.
“Saxon, he kissed me. I didn’t want this.” Panic like I’d never known welled up in me. I loved Saxon with my entire being. I hadn’t wanted Toby to kiss me.
“The hell you didn’t,” Toby said, winking at Saxon. “He’s been pining over me since we had our little fight a few months back.” He slapped a hand on my shoulder. “Look at him now. Raring to go.” Toby pointed to my crotch, where a bulge of my own had started to grow.
“Enough!” Ozzy roared from the top of the stairs. “This is a fire station preparing for a Category Three hurricane to hit and the three of you are acting like this is an episode of Queer as Folk.” Ozzy turned his wrath toward Toby. “You, get the fuck out of my firehouse. I don’t ever want to see you here again. I don’t care if we are in the middle of a crisis, we sure as hell don’t need your sort here.”
Toby wore a shocked expression. “You can’t kick me out. I’ve been assigned here.”
“We’ll just see about that. You’re relieved of duty, Whitmer. Now get the fuck out of here or I’ll call the police.” Ozzy looked as if he were about to breathe fire. He flew down the stairs and was at my side in a heartbeat.
I watched my world collapsing around me like I was a spectator. As if it were happening to someone else. I wanted to cry out and tell Saxon that I didn’t want Toby, I wanted him. Only, I couldn’t get the words past my lips.
Ozzy was quiet as Toby left the building. He looked back and forth between the two of us until the door slammed shut. “Look, I don’t know what the hell just happened here. It seems to me like fucking Whitmer came here to stir the shit. Don’t let him win. I know how much the two of you care about each other. I’ve seen you both knock down walls with each other over the last few weeks and open up in a way I didn’t think was possible for one of you.” Ozzy smiled at me.
I didn’t have the strength to smile back.
“We’re in the middle of a crisis here. The weather is picking up and the next call could come in at any minute. Regardless of what just happened, both of you need to eat. Take care of yourselves, and you can work things out between you later.” Ozzy’s eyes moved between both of us before heading back upstairs.
I opened my mouth to tell Saxon how sorry I was, but Saxon held up a hand to stop me. “Come eat. Like Ozzy said, there will be time for this later.” He turned to walk away.
All I could do was watch Saxon go. I’d never loved anyone like I loved him, and because of one careless moment with a man from my past, I’d just blown my entire life to smithereens.
34
Saxon
My heart was completely