was disowned as well, and we were alone. Without coin. And deeply hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We had each other. So we started over. Got married. Built a home. And suddenly we didn’t need our families, because we had made our own.” Orion’s eyes became far away. “It was the happiest time in my life. I’d never felt more…comfortable. Not in a bad way. No, it just felt like everything was right, like we belonged exactly as we were. And I realized that regardless of whatever hell we had endured, I was living the life I was meant to live. With Selene.” His gaze panned back to Tobias. “She was my purpose.”
“But you’re here now.”
“I am.”
“What happened?”
A long silence passed. “She died,” Orion said. “Four years after we were married. Giving birth to our son. Stillborn.”
Darkness washed over the room. Orion sat still and calm as always, but his gaze was empty, as if his eyes had become hollowed shells.
“We were going to name him Silas. Ocean, if he was a girl.”
“I’m so sorry,” Tobias said.
Orion looked down at his palms. “The moment I held my son in my arms—stared down at his lifeless face—I felt the world shift. We all died that day together. I was just left behind. It’s rather unfair, really.”
The darkness lingered, swirling in the pit of Tobias’s stomach. “So…you’re saying I should follow the other path. The one chosen for me.”
“Of course not. That’s a terrible idea.”
Tobias started. “But…”
“But what?”
“They died. It ended in heartbreak.”
Orion stroked his beard. “I was angry for some time. I blamed her family, and my family, and then myself. And then none of it was of any importance, because no amount of hatred could bring either of them back to me. But no matter how wretched I felt, I never, ever regretted the decision to leave it all behind. For her.
“Perhaps if I hadn’t married her, things would’ve been different. Perhaps she would still be alive. Or perhaps she would’ve died bearing someone else’s child. But whatever the circumstance, it wouldn’t have been any life worth living. She was meant to be mine, and I was meant to be hers. The approval of others was meaningless. What did our families know of our passions? How could they possibly know what was right or wrong? And I suppose it did end awfully, but I would endure that suffering a thousand times over if it meant having those four years with Selene by my side. Because in those four years, I was alive. Really, truly alive.”
His gaze became stern. “Choose the path that’s right by you. Always. It may end in misery—a small price to pay. No amount of hardship compares to the emptiness of regret. Of never having lived at all.”
The room went quiet, and the swirling in Tobias’s stomach calmed.
Orion hopped to his feet. “But what the hell do I know? You’re a smart man, you’ll do what’s best.”
Tobias smiled. “Thank you.”
“Was I helpful?”
“Yes, very.”
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yes.”
“Good man.” Orion gave his shoulder a squeeze before sauntering back to his bed, plopping onto the mattress, and sharpening his arrowheads.
“Orion, a question?”
“By all means,” he said.
“You still love Selene?”
“I’ll always love her. There is no other woman for me. There never will be.”
“Then why enter the Sovereign’s Tournament?”
Orion shrugged. “Saw the pool on my way to town. Figured it was something to do to pass the time. I’ve got too much of that on my hands these days.”
He turned to his arrows, leaving Tobias with his thoughts. His nightmare flashed through his mind, a whisper of what it once was.
“So then, back to sleep?” Orion asked.
Tobias’s eyes traveled to his easel, and his mind was suddenly swimming with color. “Actually…” he dragged the easel toward him, “…I have an idea.”
Orion winked. “Good man.”
Hours passed like seconds as Tobias’s brush dashed across the canvas. Before long, paint streaked his hands and sheets, but the canvas in front of him was sufficiently marked, and that was enough for him. At some point a team of servant girls whisked him away, berating him for his mess before washing him up, and then he headed to the atrium, feasting with his usual comrades. The day was looking better—and then it wasn’t daytime at all, as night fell while he wasn’t paying attention, too distracted with things that for once didn’t involve danger or death.
Leaning back in his seat, Tobias pushed his empty dish aside. Flynn and Orion were busy debating something, while he and Raphael sat