gaze locked on the cell, asking myself the same question.
I didn’t speak much to Cole last night. I couldn’t. We weren’t alone. There were only a few clawing words to fill the silence before I decided to leave Penny in his capable hands. But there’d been unfinished business between us. There has been since Greece, I’ve just refused to let him close enough to carry on the madness.
One hurdle at a time, please, Satan.
“It’s probably nothing.” I guide a stray strand of hair behind my ear and nod to myself. “He probably wants to give an update on what happened last night.”
“What do you mean, last night?” Easton’s voice thickens with tension. “What happened?”
I side-step, moving around him to walk for the kitchen. “There was an incident with a mutual contact. I got to the scene before he did.”
“You got to the scene?” He enunciates the words slowly. “You saw him? Is that why you’re an emotional wreck today?”
“I’m not a wreck.” I stalk to the fridge, pull open the door, and grab another beer. “I’m tired. That’s all.”
“Don’t lie to me. You’re back to the same crazy upheaval from a few weeks ago. And yet again, he’s the cause.” He stalks toward me, holding out a hand. “Give me the cell and I’ll block his number.”
“No.” My denial is too fast. Too defensive. I can’t help it. “I can handle this on my own.”
“Like hell you can. You’re not sleeping. Not exercising. Not working. Pretty soon the Bureau is going to write you off completely, then you won’t have a job to return to. All for what?” He visually scans me with pained eyes. “What did he do to you, Nis?”
Oh, God. That nickname is foul on his lips.
An abomination.
Cole was the first person to ever call me Nis, Nissa, and even Nissie. I’d been his little fox, too. Yet the same endearment from a friend sounds sacrilegious.
“You know what he did,” I lie. “He humiliated me. He made me his alibi when his father escaped custody.”
“The time for bullshitting is over. We both know there’s more to it than that. You disappeared for days. You fell off the face of the fucking planet and returned a different person.”
I did.
Cole changed me.
“I—”
My cell vibrates again, this time short and sharp with a text.
The Devil: We need to speak. Now.
I wince, wanting to comply with every breath and loathed to do it at the same time.
“I’m turning it off.” I press the power button and hold up the device for him to see. “I’m ignoring him.” I place my cell on the kitchen counter, a jittery discomfort growing inside me with every passing second.
I want those phone calls. I crave more texts. Everything inside me screams for Cole’s attention but I have to deny myself.
I grab my beer, twist off the cap, and down half the contents before gasping for air.
“Why won’t you talk to me?” Easton comes up behind me as I rest my waist against the counter. “What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid.” I take another gulp, eager for more liquid to douse Cole’s flames while the hair on the back of my neck rises.
“Did he hurt you?”
Yes. “No.”
“Did he scare you?”
Yes. “No.”
“Are you searching for retribution?”
I sigh, unsure of my answer.
I find myself wanting so many things from Cole. Answers being the most prominent need. It kills me to have no understanding of how I went from hating a man, to willingly sleeping with him within the space of days.
I became lost in a murderer. And it wasn’t as if he hid his venom behind that wickedly handsome face of his. He took every opportunity to show me the demon living within. He exposed me to his deepest, darkest depths and still I became entranced.
Fucking Stockholm.
“I can help you.” Easton closes in behind me, his hands sliding over my shoulders, his fingers massaging softly. “We can take him down together.”
I flinch. Tense.
Taking down Cole had been the driving force that pulled me into this mess in the first place. I’d wanted nothing more than to see him behind bars. Now all I can think of is seeing him between silk sheets.
“No.” I place my beer on the counter and turn to face him, his large frame looming over me, his hands falling to his sides. “I just want to forget. Okay?” I force a smile, pretending it’s all sunshine and optimism in this fucked up head of mine. “I’m going to take this last week off