phone and woke it up. Six-thirty. That’s what she got for being in the company of a military man.
Then the fog cleared, and she remembered. She flopped back onto her pillow and stared unseeing at the ceiling. It had driven her crazy because she’d been truthful. He made her crazy and had been driving her to the edge since he’d walked through the colonel’s office door, looking both hot and cool in his uniform, his features drawing her eyes. In her mind’s eye, she pictured him, standing there in the bathroom, all gorgeous muscle and that pain in his eyes. The way he had sounded and tasted as he pinned her to the sink. The feel of him, strong, hard, sure, moving between her legs. All but dragging each other into whatever bedroom was the closest.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Rejected twice in one week. The rawness of Tristan’s rejection hurt the worst. Which was really strange because she’d known him for a lot less time. And, maybe she was trying to compensate for her feelings of inadequacy when it came to not only Pete’s rejection but to Chris’s blatant response that she was just the next-best thing.
She sighed and decided to be an adult about it instead of a whiny bitch. Push her percentage back up and over, into more sweetheart. She wasn’t really mad at Tristan, not really. He hadn’t been playing games. He’d been sincerely confused, trying to do what he thought was right. Odd that he thought he’d disappoint her in some way, when he seemed to have a stronger sense of himself and their usual dynamic than she did. Maybe that was part of his problem, too.
She heaved one last self-indulgent sigh and got up. He was probably right anyway. It probably was better, or at least smarter, for them to leave well enough alone. She talked a good game about them being consenting adults who could do what they wanted, when they wanted, but he might have had a teensy point there about the risk of wanting more. Wanting too much.
What was important was finishing out this investigation into Connelly’s death and getting herself to Aruba. For just a moment she thought about how exciting it would be to go with Tristan, explore every inch of his damn fine body, but that was a fantasy. The reality bite of going to a tropical island with more time to kill than she knew what to do with was probably going to be torture.
He was a corps guy and she wasn’t going to play second fiddle to the damn military. No damn way. She had more pride than that. He would reenlist, get back to making war and she would go back to DC and…she squeezed her eyes closed. Be Chris’s second choice.
Dammit. She would just have to work harder. The residual insecurity from growing up in the shadow of her sister needed to be jettisoned. She would have to make that her number one priority in the coming year. There. She was thinking about a future apart, which meant that somewhere in her subconscious, she’d at least contemplated the idea of a future together. Which was completely impossible. Grumpy bastard meets optimistic albeit neurotic NCIS agent—whom he hates. Yeah, like that was ever going to work.
Her cell rang and she answered it. “Dalton.”
“Agent Dalton, this is Corporal Sheppard. I’m sorry to bother you, but I didn’t want to tell this to the Sarge when you interviewed us because he was so broken up over James.”
“What is it?”
“James worshipped the Sarge. He told me that he wanted to go up into the mountains and pit himself against the elements and prove to the Sarge that he was tough and capable. I told him the Sarge already knew. I’m afraid he might have done that. Gone up there. I don’t know for certain. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to ruin his…challenge. I also didn’t want him to get into trouble. But, now, now that he’s dead…” His voice clogged with emotion. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. They might have…I don’t know.”
“Corporal Sheppard. Thank you for telling me this. If you want my opinion, I don’t believe he would have done that and gone against Sergeant Michael’s orders.”
“You’re probably right. That’s why I didn’t say anything to him. Could we keep this between us? It will kill the Sarge if he hears it. He’s got enough to deal with.”
“Absolutely, Corporal Sheppard.”
“Goodbye, ma’am.”
“You take care.”
She