To Save a Love - Alexa Aston Page 0,45
remembered so. She even helped him with washing the few dishes and then dried them with a small towel.
“I will be back,” he told her. “Coral packed one of the valises with things for me. I would like to wash and put something fresh on.”
He left her and went into the bedchamber, closing the door behind him. Restless, Anna walked about the cottage. It bothered her that he had shut her out. Doors were forever being closed and locked at Gollingham. She didn’t want her new world to resemble it in any manner.
So she went and opened the door.
Her jaw dropped. Dez was bare to the waist, wearing only his trousers and Hessians. His shoulders seemed so very broad. His chest was muscular, covered in a fine matting of dark hair which ran down his flat belly and into his breeches. She couldn’t help but look at his beauty. Her feet carried her forward and her palms flattened against that magnificent chest.
He sucked in a harsh breath and gently took her wrists, moving them away.
“Anna, when a door is closed, that means privacy is requested. It is different here than at Gollingham. It is not proper for you to see me half-clothed.”
She frowned, unhappy at his words. This was what she wanted. To touch him. She placed her fingers against his chest again.
“No,” he said firmly, removing them again. “I know at Gollingham you had no say over who touched you. Who hurt you. You aren’t there, Anna. You are back where you should be but you must respect the rules of Polite Society. You cannot see me this way. I did not ask for you to touch me. I have the right to tell you no because this is my body. You also have that right and no one will touch you unless you want it.”
But she did want it. She grabbed his wrists and jerked them toward her, placing them on her breasts. Dez froze. Anna wore no corset, only the dress and a thin chemise beneath it. He could feel the swell of her breasts beneath his fingers, soft pillows he longed to suck and lick. She wanted his touch. He could see it in her eyes as she stared defiantly at him. More than anything, he longed to tug the clothing from her and bury his face between her breasts. Knead them. Let his tongue follow their gentle curves. He yearned to tweak her nipples. Tease them with his tongue and teeth. Make love to her as he had wanted to all those years ago.
It wasn’t the right time, however. Anna didn’t know what she truly wanted. He had to be strong. For both of them. Hopefully, the right time would come when they could be together. Not yet. It was much too soon. Regretfully, Dez withdrew his hands, forcing them to his sides. Anna stomped her foot, letting him know it was what she wanted.
“No. I won’t touch you that way. Not now. Not until you have a voice and can tell me what you want.” He smiled sadly. “Even then, it is something that should wait until you are stronger. Feeling better. Do you understand?”
No. She didn’t understand at all. Once more, the world she created was spinning out of control, leaving her helpless. It was Dez’s world. He was making the rules. She didn’t like this at all. She stormed from the room and out of the cottage, her breathing rapid. She spun in a circle, unsure of where to go. A bit afraid, actually, that if she went anywhere she would lose the thread of Dez, who had linked her to this world.
What if she became lost—and couldn’t find her way back?
She slumped to the ground, tears of frustration falling onto her gown. She had never thought she would want to go back to the dark world of the asylum but it was familiar to her. Of course, she had no idea how to get back there. Even if she could, she understood she now danced between madness and sanity. She had slipped into madness. But wasn’t it possible to have periods of lucidity? She had seen it with others at Gollingham, women who truly were mad—or had been driven mad by years spent at the horror chamber.
Anna closed her eyes, bringing her hands over them to block out the light of the morning sun. If she thought hard enough, maybe she could get back for a few minutes. See Fiend as