To Save a Love - Alexa Aston Page 0,44

giving birth to her and Dez so no one at Torville Manor said she couldn’t switch gowns every now and then.

Sadly, the dress was quite loose on Anna. She didn’t have the power to wish away being so thin. She would work on that. She wanted to look good for herself and for Dez. He had once looked at her with longing. With desire. He had kissed her and made her feel like a princess.

The thought of kissing him brought conflicted emotions. When Dez had kissed her long ago, she had felt possessed by him. She would have done anything he said and had proven it when he suggested they run away to Scotland together. Now, though, the thought of someone having such power over her bothered her. She would rebel against that ever happening, even if it was only in her make-believe world.

Yet the Dez she had brought to life was very much a man. An incredibly handsome, patient, kind man. Part of her did want to kiss him. Desperately. She would have to think on this. Examine her feelings. See if she could learn to kiss him and still somehow hold him at bay. Oh, this world was very hard! But it was infinitely better than living in the one she had for however long she had. Time had meant nothing at Gollingham. One day blended into the next until it was a series of endless hours.

She laughed—or at least tried to, as much as her damaged vocal cords would allow. She had hated wearing a corset and it struck her that the delightful Coral had brought none. Even when she wasn’t trying, she was already creating a better world for herself. She couldn’t fasten the back of the gown, however. Dez would need to do that. She left the bedchamber and heard him whistling. She had forgotten he did that and was proud that, somewhere deep inside her, she was resurrecting new things. She still had no control over what was happening. That would come in time. For now, Anna would simply move through her imagination and enjoy what unfolded.

Dez heard her and turned. “Ah, don’t you look lovely, Anna? I think so.” He grinned. “And it must be liberating to wear no stockings or slippers. At least the weather is warm and you won’t catch a cold. Come and let me help fasten the gown for you.”

She went to him and presented her back. She could feel his fingers along her spine as he moved, once again sending a little thrill through her. She determined to kiss him at some point and see how much of her feelings she was able to control.

“Coral has come and gone,” Dez told her. “He came for the horse and cart last night but he’s brought new supplies for us today. More food, as well. Before you sit at the table and eat, let’s have you gargle.”

Anna had never been good at gargling as a child, always laughing because of the sound it made, which allowed some of the salt water to go down her throat, defeating the entire purpose and souring her stomach. She determined she would succeed this time.

Dez poured some water into a mug and doused it with salt, stirring it with a spoon. He offered her the mug and she accepted it, taking it outside. If she could, she would spend every waking moment outdoors. She moved away from the cottage and then brought the mug to her mouth, taking in a bit of the salted water and then tilting her head back. She gargled, making sure not to giggle, and then spit it out, repeating her actions several times.

Once she finished, she returned to Dez and gave him the mug.

“Very good, Anna. I hope it will promote healing. Come to the table. I have breakfast waiting for you. Coral brought things for us. He will do so every day, several times a day, whatever we need.”

She thought that very convenient to have a servant at their beck and call but still not a part of her fantasy. Coral was becoming quite indispensable. She determined not to act frightened the next time he appeared. After all, he was of her making. What had she to fear from a servant she herself had manufactured?

They had bread, which Dez smeared with peach jam, and slices of ham. Fresh fruit and a few slices of a sharp cheese. She had always loved cheese and was glad this Dez had