she had been the one to send this to them, Anna feared she had stumbled into Dez’s world. This one wasn’t made by her, after all. It was his.
But how had she gotten into his?
She lifted her eyes and met his. A single tear rolled down her cheek. It was all pretend. It had been fine when she was the one who pretended and dreamed because she had controlled what she imagined. Now, though, she had lost the thread of reality and things spiraled out of control. She had thought it and had rejected the idea but she couldn’t any longer.
She had become the demented lunatic Fiend and Matron had told her she was. Her slender hold on reality had finally broken. Everything Dez said—even the fact that he was here—wasn’t the world of her making. Madness had set in and Anna knew she had descended into a place from which she would never emerge.
Chapter Twelve
Dez sensed the shift within Anna. He thought he had been making progress with her. She hadn’t tried to run away or strike him. She had gingerly explored her surroundings. She had allowed him to hold her. It had shattered when Coral arrived, frightening her, but Dez had once again calmed her and Anna seemed to accept things.
He could tell she had been overcome by the display of food on the table. What he considered simple fare must have seemed like a feast to someone in her position. He wondered at the rot they must have fed her at Gollingham, seeing how thin she now was. Yet he still thought it was going well until he mentioned Cook and the lemonade. His words had triggered something inside Anna. She had begun to withdraw. The look on her face changed, tremendous sadness spreading across it. Why would the idea of lemonade bring unhappiness?
Unless it reminded her of earlier, happier times and what had been lost to her.
With that in mind, he decided to continue speaking to her gently as if everything were perfectly normal. That two old friends were merely sharing a meal. He wouldn’t hide what had been done to her. He would address it and continue to do so, all the while letting her know the asylum was behind her and she had nothing to fear again.
“Lemonade will be good for your throat,” he said matter-of-factly. “You have strained it. That is why you’ve lost your voice. It has happened to me before.”
Dez took the lemonade and poured it into a cup, placing it before her. He did the same for himself and took a sip.
“Ah, nice and tart. Try some,” he encouraged.
Anna looked at the cup and back at him. Then her gaze returned to the cup longingly.
“It is very good.” He took another sip. “When I strained my throat, the doctor told me that I should avoid very cold or very hot beverages. I had thought a spot of hot tea would do the trick but he had me gargle with warm salt water. You can do that, too. Coral brought us some supplies.”
Pausing, he added, “I think I will bring them in from the cart. Go ahead and start eating. I’ll join you shortly.”
He rose and left the cottage, going to the wagon. It contained several boxes filled with the items he had requested. He also saw three valises and hoped they contained things for Anna to wear. Once she had some food in her, he needed to bathe her and get fresh clothes on her. Lifting two of the valises, he carried them into the cottage, not looking at Anna as he went to the bedchamber. He opened them and saw women’s clothing, even recognizing a dress he recalled seeing Dalinda in.
Returning outside, he brought in the remaining valise and, after several trips, all of the boxes, as well. He had watched Anna surreptitiously and saw she was eating, totally focused on the food, as if he weren’t present at all. Dez wondered how much she understood of what occurred around her. He didn’t think her mad in the least, especially if after all this time she was still shouting loud and long enough, protesting her presence at the asylum. He believed she must retreat far into herself for great periods of time. That was what had saved her sanity, not driven her into madness.
The key would be to bringing her back to a safe present—and keeping her here.
He rejoined her. “Everything is inside now,” he said, keeping his tone