He pushed it down again, reminding himself that his night with Melody could be nothing more than casual. “So, that’s what your role is in the Force?”
“I’m not really a member of the Force, not in the same way the others are,” she explained, sitting back against the couch cushions. The white twinkle lights illuminated her face, making her look as angelic as the tree topper. “I usually refer to myself as being Force-adjacent.”
“But you live here, I assume,” Roman countered. “It’s because of you that Gabe and Emersyn can do their jobs, and I’m sure they appreciate having a numbers person around to balance the books. That’s not for everyone.” He didn’t know why he had such an urge to make her feel she was just as vital as the Force members who physically fought for shifters all over L.A. Amar had explained how everything worked in the Force. He’d even hinted at recruiting him, but he wasn’t meant for city life.
“It’s still not really the same.” She bit her lip, but the corners of her mouth turned up.
Damn, she was cute. His bear swelled inside him when he looked at her, loving every second of being so close to her.
“Shit, it’s not like I’m out there doing anything heroic,” Melody continued. “Besides, I get the better end of the bargain. I get a little work done, and I get to hang out with Lucas. It means that I at least get to feel like a parent sometimes, even when I’m not. What about you? Any kids?”
It was an innocent enough question. There was nothing wrong with it. Still, Roman felt that trigger pull inside him. His polar bear roared as he recalled the way he’d been wronged. It still hurt so badly, even months later. The tip of his tongue wiggled against the inside of his teeth as he considered whether or not to answer her. He hardly knew Melody, and it wasn’t fair to just spew out his life story and expect her to be able to handle it. “No,” he finally said quietly. “No kids.”
If she’d noticed his hesitation or the tension that had suddenly built inside his muscles, she didn’t let him know. Melody adjusted her position on the couch, inching her knee a little closer to his thigh. “There’s just something so magical about kids and the way they absorb everything around them,” she mused, gazing up at the ceiling. “Even when we don’t think they’re paying attention, or we think something must be beyond their grasp, they just turn around and know. Like Lucas did this afternoon when he wanted everyone to sit on your lap.”
It was too warm in the room. Did everything in L.A. have to be so damn hot? He craved the cool air of Wyoming to ease his soul. It wouldn’t make him forget about Melody, though. As much as he wanted to turn and run from this situation, to save himself from looking like a fool, he knew their inner beasts would never let them ignore what had happened. Roman ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess we need to talk about that.”
She turned away, but he could see the smile in the profile of her face. “We don’t have to. It was just one of those things.”
“If you mean the mere attraction of a man to a woman, then yes.” Roman moved closer to her, longing to feel the silky smoothness of her skin under his hand. “But I think there was much more to it than that.”
Turning just enough so that she could look at him, Melody raised an eyebrow. “Was there?”
“I think you know.” God, he hoped she did. But in everything that Roman knew about shifters, these things weren’t simply one-sided. He couldn’t have that sort of reaction without her because she was part of the equation. The way his bear had gone berserk was a direct reflection of how her animal side was reacting. “There was something far more between us; something neither of us can control.”
“I see,” she said with a quirky little smile, reaching over and brushing cookie crumbs off the leg of his pants. “So if a girl just wants to sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what a good girl she was all year, it has to mean something?”
“Absolutely. Especially if she shares her food with him. And especially if he has a far better time just sitting on the couch with her watching Christmas movies