Sand Castle Bay (Ocean Breeze) - By Sherryl Woods Page 0,111

he said, resigned.

“How can I not? It’s the most meaningful work I’ve ever had.” She regarded him earnestly. “Boone, I wish I could make you understand what it was like working on this safe house and then seeing those women and children when they saw it for the first time. If you’d been there, you’d know how I felt.”

Much as he regretted it, he was forced to admit that he did understand. And as desperately as he wanted her to be here, with him and B.J., he also knew she’d resent him if he insisted that she give up this opportunity. He wondered what she’d do if he even dared to utter such a selfish ultimatum. She’d probably throw it back in his face and walk out. Her career was something she could hang on to. Their love was untested.

It was already clear to him that her mind was made up. This whole conversation was little more than a polite exercise. He had several choices, all of them flawed. He could walk away and live the rest of his life with regrets. He could fight her and wind up losing in the long run when she came to resent him. Or he could man up and try to work through this.

When he looked into her eyes, he saw the shadows of worry there. She was obviously scared that he was going to react badly. That look made him desperately want to find the right words. He just had no idea what those words might be.

He reached over and touched her cheek, felt the dampness of a tear that had escaped. “I know you want my blessing, Em.”

She nodded. “I do, more than anything.”

“And if I say no, that a long separation just isn’t going to work for me, what happens then?”

Another tear leaked out. “I don’t know,” she whispered miserably. “I see your point. I know this will be hard.” She looked into his eyes. “But will it be harder than never seeing each other again, not being in each other’s lives?”

When she put it that way, it shook Boone. He’d been without her for years. And despite having a loving wife and son during that time, a part of his soul had been missing. He didn’t see things being a whole lot better if he lost her again, especially after they’d come so close to getting it right this time.

“Boone, say something,” she pleaded. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking that no matter what I say, it’s going to be wrong. If I tell you to turn this down, that our relationship needs to be your first priority and it simply won’t work with such a long separation, then I’m being selfish and unreasonable.”

“No, you wouldn’t be,” she insisted. “Believe me, there’s a part of me that totally gets that what I’m asking of you is too huge.”

“But you want this job,” he said. “It’s given you something you felt was missing. How can I deny you that and still claim to love you?”

Now her tears flowed unchecked. “This whole thing stinks, doesn’t it?”

He smiled, dabbing at her tears with a napkin. “I think I can safely say that if we were talking about a lousy idea that truly stank, we wouldn’t be having this problem. You wouldn’t be torn up over whether to take this job, and I wouldn’t be torn up over letting you go.”

Alarm immediately filled her eyes. “Letting me go? That’s your solution?”

He needed to feel his way through this, try to get it right. “Em, you need to be free to do this. With B.J. and me in the picture, even with my blessing, I know you’re going to feel torn every minute. You’ll be sure you’re shortchanging the job or us, no matter what you do. Can you deny that?”

Though she clearly hated making the admission, she shook her head. “No.”

“Then you need to do this without worrying about me. You need to throw yourself into it a hundred percent. Once the project is off the ground and you’ve had some time to see how the work needs to be juggled, we can take another look at us.”

Offering to let her go—even temporarily—was the hardest thing he’d ever done, but he knew it was for the best. She couldn’t give this her all while looking over her shoulder and worrying about letting him down.

She sat back, her expression stunned. “I thought you might be mad, that you might tell me to make a